Boat Trip
Geller, my new personal hero.
Dude, let's bolt.
Hanging around some stupid bar
is no place to meet women.
What are you talking about? You've
begged me to come here for months!
Jerry, buddy...
trust me...
I have seen the light.
Son of a bitch!
That was my space!
- F*ck you!
- F*ck you right back, buddy!
Back off. I don't wanna see an out
of shape slob get his butt kicked.
- He ain't that out of shape.
You break a sweat
changing your shoes.
- Stop. Bite me!
- Blow me!
- Kiss my ass!
- F*ck your mother!
Oh, yeah? No one would want to f*ck
my mother 'cause she's too ugly.
- I think I lost that one, didn't I?
- Oh, yeah.
Okay. That's the 7-day, 6-night
fun in the sun singles package...
with the standard 3 to 1
female to male ratio.
Just as the doctor ordered,
right, buddy?
I don't know, Nick.
I don't think I'm ready for this.
Not ready? Come on.
It's been six months.
I don't like the sun...
and I get seasick.
I don't know what to say
to strange women.
We're not going for the discourse.
We're going for the intercourse.
Sex! That's all you ever think about.
Sex, sex, sex!
We'll take it.
There you go.
Larry, you're still here.
- Your mother died.
- What?
- When?
- This morning. I'm sorry.
- I thought you got my Post-it.
- Okay, thanks, Michael.
Alright. Now, gentlemen...
I might want you to consider this
stateroom. It's a little bit larger...
Would you excuse me
for just a moment?
Help!
Mama, no!
- You!
- F*ck you, pal.
- F*ck you back.
- F*ck your mother.
- No one would f*ck my mother...
- We've been through this before!
Excuse me. What seems to be
the problem here?
This guy. Pecker face.
- That's the problem
- This guy's a jerk.
Alright, Brian, you know what?
Enough. Let me handle this.
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Boat Trip" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 24 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/boat_trip_4409>.
