Boat Trip

Synopsis: Jerry and Nick are two best buddies whose love lives have hit rock bottom, Jerry's especially, having just vomited all over his fiancée on a hot air balloon trip prior to proposing to her. To escape their troubles and find women, they book a trip on board a cruise-liner, unaware the travel agent has just played a horrid trick on them in retaliation for Nick offending his secret gay lover. And that's the trick; it's a gay cruise-liner for gay men to meet and mingle. Slowly but surely, the two main characters begin to realize this and in turn get into a lot of humorous predicaments.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Mort Nathan
Production: Artisan Entertainment
  1 win & 8 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.9
Metacritic:
18
Rotten Tomatoes:
7%
R
Year:
2002
94 min
$8,525,095
Website
35 Views

Geller, my new personal hero.

Dude, let's bolt.

Hanging around some stupid bar

is no place to meet women.

What are you talking about? You've

begged me to come here for months!

Jerry, buddy...

trust me...

I have seen the light.

Son of a bitch!

That was my space!

- F*ck you!

- F*ck you right back, buddy!

Back off. I don't wanna see an out

of shape slob get his butt kicked.

- He ain't that out of shape.

- I'm talking about you!

You break a sweat

changing your shoes.

- Stop. Bite me!

- Blow me!

- Kiss my ass!

- F*ck your mother!

Oh, yeah? No one would want to f*ck

my mother 'cause she's too ugly.

- I think I lost that one, didn't I?

- Oh, yeah.

Okay. That's the 7-day, 6-night

fun in the sun singles package...

with the standard 3 to 1

female to male ratio.

Just as the doctor ordered,

right, buddy?

I don't know, Nick.

I don't think I'm ready for this.

Not ready? Come on.

It's been six months.

I don't like the sun...

and I get seasick.

I don't know what to say

to strange women.

We're not going for the discourse.

We're going for the intercourse.

Sex! That's all you ever think about.

Sex, sex, sex!

We'll take it.

There you go.

Larry, you're still here.

- Your mother died.

- What?

- When?

- This morning. I'm sorry.

- I thought you got my Post-it.

- Okay, thanks, Michael.

Alright. Now, gentlemen...

I might want you to consider this

stateroom. It's a little bit larger...

Would you excuse me

for just a moment?

Help!

Mama, no!

- You!

- F*ck you, pal.

- F*ck you back.

- F*ck your mother.

- No one would f*ck my mother...

- We've been through this before!

Excuse me. What seems to be

the problem here?

This guy. Pecker face.

- That's the problem

- This guy's a jerk.

Alright, Brian, you know what?

Enough. Let me handle this.

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Mort Nathan

Mort Nathan is an American television producer, screenwriter and film director. He was one of the co-producers and head writers of the comedy show The Golden Girls. Nathan won two Emmy awards, two Golden Globes, and a Writer's Guild of America award for his work on the series. He has written and produced over 150 hours of prime time television shows and directed the feature films Boat Trip, Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, and Bag Boy. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Boat Trip" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 15 Nov. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/boat_trip_4409>.

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