Bo Burnham: Words, Words, Words
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2010
- 63 min
- 569 Views
(cheers and applause)
THANK YOU.
(laughter)
WHEN I SAY HEY,
YOU SAY HO.
HEY.
HO!
HEY.
HO!
ROSE TO POWER.
(laughter,
MY SHOW:
LIKE SHAKESPEARE'S WILLIE
OR NOAM CHOMSKY:
WEARING A STRAP-ON
LIKE THANKSGIVING DAY
OR NOAM CHOMSKY:
WEARING A STRAP... ON
TO VIBRATE:
TO CELL-PHONE MODE
IT GOES A LITTLE BI LIKE THIS--JOKE
EXACTLY,
IT FLOWS A LITTLE BI LIKE THIS
THEN A SWIFT RAP ON THE WRIS A RAP AND A KISS
LIKE HERSHEY'S WRAPPIN'
A KISS, SH*T
I GOT A SHOW:
WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY?
FUNNY, FU-FUNNY
WHAT'S FUNNY
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY?
FUNNY, OH, YEAH
TO SHARED EXPERIENCE
HAVE YOU NOTICED
REALLY INEFFICIENT HAND DRYERS
OH, MY GOD,
YES, I HAVE
HA HA HA,
REALLY GOOD POINT
WHICH SUBCONSCIOUSLY FORCED ME
ABOUT HAND DRYERS
BECAUSE STAND-UP COMEDY
MY MOTHER'S GO THE WEIRDEST F***IN' ACCENT
THEN JUST DO:
A CHINESE ACCENT
'CAUSE EVERYBODY LAUGHS
BECAUSE THEY PRIVATELY THOUGH YOUR PEOPLE WERE LAUGHABLE
NOW YOU'VE GIVEN THEM
THE CHANCE:
OH, YEAH,
IF YOU'RE A MUSICAL COMIC
VOICE INFLECTION
THEN TAKE A VIAGRA
AND SLAP 'EM
WITH A ROCK-HARD MISDIRECTION
OH, WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY?
FUNNY, FU-FUNNY
TOURETTES!
WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY?
FUNNY, OH
WHEN I WAS A BABY
JIGGLING KEYS:
NOW I'M OLDER
ARE TO A HUMMER:
F*** MY LIFE,
I DON'T F*** MY WIFE
SO F*** MY WIFE
AND F*** MY LIFE
DAUGHTER'S A WHORE
LIKE ANOTHER GIRL
BUT THE MARRIAGE
THAT SCREAMIN' PRIMA DONNA
THE SITUATION:
WILL BE AUTOEROTIC
ASPHYXIATION:
BUT I DON'T KNOW
"WHAT UP, JAMAL?"
(laughter)
IS STEVE:
HATE MY KIDS,
I'M SLOWLY SLIPPING
INTO A SOLIPSISTIC COMA
AND I MASTURBATE
WHOSE STANDARDS:
(laughter)
(cheers and applause)
WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY?
FUNNY, FU-FUNNY
(pops) IT'S A BOY.
WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY?
WHAT'S FUNNY, WHAT'S FUNNY,
WHAT'S FUNNY?
FUNNY, YEAH
HOPEFULLY THIS:
(plays finale)
(raspberry)
THANK YOU.
(cheers and applause)
THANK YOU.
MY EX-GIRLFRIEND
AS HERSELF:
(laughter)
BUT YOU KNOW,
WHAT A GIRL'S GONNA LOOK LIKE,
'CAUSE SHE WOULD'VE BEEN,
YOU KNOW...
DEAD.
(laughter and groaning)
(woman)
I'M KEEPING HIM.
GUYS, I'M A REALIST!
I'M A REALIST.
REALITY.
GIVES YOU LEMONS,
YOU PROBABLY:
JUST FOUND LEMONS.
IN THE WORLD:
'CAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH BEAUTY,
BECAUSE LIFE:
ALMOST SILENT POETRY,
YOU KNOW, LIKE A HERMAPHRODITE
PLAYING THE KEYTAR,
OR A YOUNG AMISH BOY TRYING TO
OR A GIRL--A GIRL
SAYING, "MAMA,
DOWN A WELL.
SYMMETRY.
FOR YOU.
"EH."
"WHA."
WE'RE DESTINED TO FIGHT FOREVER.
(laughter)
IF I HAD A DIME--HA!
IF I HAD A DIME FOR EVERY TIME
A HOMELESS GUY:
I'D STILL SAY, "NO."
(laughter)
NO. NOPE.
YOUR MOTHER'S BREASTS SAG
WITH SUCH SEVERITY
THAT THE LATE GREA SURREALIST ARTIST SALVADOR DALI
(laughter and applause)
UM, THANK YOU.
I--I BELIEVE--
I BELIEVE FIRMLY
(cheers and applause)
I DO. I DO.
OH,
I, UH...
DON'T.
MEN AND WOMEN:
"MEN AND WOMEN"!
'CAUSE THEY'RE
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Bo Burnham: Words, Words, Words" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bo_burnham:_words,_words,_words_4402>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In