Blue State Page #2
And we're an organization set up
to help Americans establish roots here
after last week's tragic election.
We heard about what you're doing,
and we'd love to help.
So, give us a dingle at 204-555-7328,
and ask for Gloria. Thanks so much, then.
"Liberal ladies and gentlemen
of the US,
"now that George W. Bush will be with us,
tragically, for another four years,
"single American liberals
will be desperate to escape. "
Dude, I swear I didn't sign you up.
Then how'd they find me?
They didn't read it on your blog.
How do you know? Maybe they did.
Dude, nobody reads your stupid blog.
And besides...
Oh, screw you.
So, what's her name?
Oh...
Hello?
Hi, is this MarryACanadian. Com?
You mean dot C-A.
This is John Logue. Somebody
from your organization called me.
Oh, that was me. I'm so glad you called.
A friend of mine heard
who saw on TV that you were planning
on moving to Canada
if Bush won the election.
So, we thought we'd give you a ring.
What are you, the CIA?
No. Canada doesn't have
any invasive organizations like that.
We let people enjoy their privacy.
So, we've got people coming up
as soon as tomorrow.
Well, I haven't even decided if...
I haven't even decided if I'm going.
If you wanna come up here,
we'd be more than happy
to help you get accustomed
to living here in Winnipeg,
including finding a Canadian
to marry for your citizenship.
Did you get a chance
to look at the profiles on our website?
Yeah, I...
I thought it was a joke.
We've had some American news
organizations treating it like a joke.
And these women are willing to marry me?
Well, it's a little more involved
than that. I mean, they gotta like you.
Look, this is really...
This is really nice of you, Gloria.
Well, we're nice up here sometimes
for no good reason.
Thank you, I'll be in touch.
I wanna get out
of corporate America, man.
You know, you've got a computer,
they'll read your files.
Track everything you do.
I got my FBI file once
under the Freedom of Information Act.
This f***ing thick, man.
My girlfriend lives in Vancouver,
and I've got a week's vacation.
Tall latt, no fat, extra foam.
So I saw your post,
and I thought a road trip would be neat.
Last road trip I took, I listened to
Neil Diamond, like, 70 of the trip.
Something about it
just clicked with the landscape.
Right.
You got those multinationals
just pouring propaganda into your brain.
And what are your political views?
Yeah, I saw that on the flier.
Does it really matter?
You voted for Bush, didn't you?
So, it's cool if I bring my pet snake?
Well, you know...
Marry a Canadian, huh?
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"Blue State" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/blue_state_4382>.
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