Blue Mountain State: The Rise of Thadland Page #3

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Twenty-five percent

arrest rate.

Yeah!

Drinking,

drugs, indecent exposure.

What I find

is a house full of drunkards,

prostitutes, and imbeciles...

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

We are not prostitutes.

Oh.

Mr. moran.

Hi.

I've heard a lot

about you.

Hey, congrats, man.

Thanks, guys.

The king of

blue mountain state.

The king of

blue mountain state.

I wouldn't say that.

Well I got news for you,

Mr. moran.

Your kingdom,

has a new ruler.

Me!

I thought you were

the cooch?

I heard that the first time.

You better makeup

your mind.

I'm the coach.

But I'm going to be king just

as soon as I storm your

castle, Mr. moran.

You're gonna bang Alex?

What?

I'm not comfortable

with that.

Why would you

want to do that?

He's not banging

anybody!

Now, shut up!

Yeah, uh...

What I mean to say,

Saturday at midnight,

blue mountain state,

will seize this...

Goat house,

and auction it to

the highest bidder.

What?

That you understand,

don't you?

You can't take

the goat house.

Oh, I can.

I can.

This house of filth and

lawlessness is no longer

yours to rule.

Now if you'll excuse me.

I have other students

that I need to

coach.

Sh*t. Okay, all right.

Okay, okay.

Coach, coach,

you can't let this happen.

Next year is my senior year.

If the team sucks,

this house

is all I have.

Well, then you better

make sure that the team

doesn't suck.

Just gonna have a beer,

we're gonna have a beer

and just relax.

Too much sh*t has happened

here, we can't let it go.

I waited three years

for this house to be mine.

Now I'm not letting

some smug prick

walk up in here

and take it from me.

No. What we need is a plan.

Prostitutes.

We'll become prostitutes,

sell our bodies,

make some money.

We're definitely not doing

a hunger strike.

Oh, I'm having a brainstorm.

We kill the Dean!

No.

We kill the Dean's family and

make it look like he did it.

That's a great one.

No, guys.

We're not killing

anybody, okay?

What we need is

some quick cash.

Now let's think

about this.

Who would be dumb enough

to spend hundreds of

thousands of dollars

to buy this house?

What the hell

is this sh*t?

Did I not tell

this prick chef,

medium-rare well?

I heard you say it.

You definitely told him.

And you call

this bearnaise sauce?

I'm appalled right now!

Somebody tell that chef

I want a ham, with veal in it,

and crab legs sticking out.

I'm paying $12,000 for it,

so it better taste

like $12,000!

Hey, thad.

I was just won...

Yep, there it is. Okay, hi.

I'm Alex. What's your name?

Seriously?

He's clean.

Hair.

Clean.

Balls.

What?

Ah, what the...

Clean.

Yeah.

I, uh, I just...

Hey! Whoa, whoa!

Whoa!

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