Bloodsucking Bastards Page #2

Synopsis: An action-packed horror comedy, BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS stars Fran Kranz as Evan, a dutiful and overworked employee stuck at a soul-killing corporation with his beautiful co-worker and girlfriend Amanda (Emma Fitzpatrick) and his slacker best friend Tim (Joey Kern). Evans world begins to crumble when Amanda dumps him and his boss Ted (Joel Murray) hands his coveted promotion to his nemesis Max (Pedro Pascal). When his office mates start going through disturbing changes, Evan must find a way to stop the evil brewing amidst the cubicles, and rescue his workplace pals before his life and career go from dead-end... to just dead.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Production: Shout Factory
  10 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.7
Metacritic:
50
Rotten Tomatoes:
61%
NOT RATED
Year:
2015
86 min
Website
231 Views


in tongues.

You could have

-Not even English. German!

-Nein.

I get it, okay. I get it.

I understand.

Yes, I screwed up.

I understand that, okay?

It just kind of came out, guys.

I don't know what happened.

I just screwed up.

You did screw up, man.

She is the coolest girl ever.

I mean, remember when she kicked

all of our asses at paintball?

Why did she have all that camo

on her face? Unreal.

Honestly, I bet dating her

is like dating a guy.

Who is like a hot chick that has

a, you know, like a penis.

So, not a girl?

No, still a girl. Did you not

listen to what I just said?

-All right.

-No, it's a hot girl

with a beautiful penis

but she's still...

She's still a chick.

She just has guy parts.

-I-I get where you're going.

-It's a feminine penis.

What if it was

a guy with a vagina?

He makes a good point.

-I'm an idiot.

-Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, you and me,

a couple of margaritas.

That is so offensive.

Why? That isn't racist.

I know it's not racist.

I like margaritas.

I'm just offended

that you think I would date you.

Has anyone seen Andrew? Andrew!

Hey, Andrew, could you

please get your phone?

It's ringing off the hook, man.

Oh, probably one of my

man-like 15 female suitors.

Your suitors are man-like?

No, no, no. I mean,

man-like man!

Not man like man-like.

You know, man like man--

Stop saying "man-like."

Could you get your phone?

It's probably a sales call.

Probably a business-related

sales call.

I'll give you

the business-related later.

I'll talk to him, okay?

Uh, I heard what happened

with you and Amanda breaking up.

Oh, you heard about that?

Yeah, well,

she's the head of HR,

and she put out a memo.

-Um, I-I--

-All right.

Andrew, get the phone!

-Evan. Can I bend your ear?

-Yeah. Hey.

How's the presentation coming?

You're gonna be ready by Friday?

Yeah, Friday.

Yeah, sure, Ted. Yeah.

Yeah, we need

this account, Evan.

Sales have been bad,

but if we land this fish,

you'll save all our asses.

Yeah.

I know male enhancement

isn't the most glamorous product

in the world but...

No. My sources tell me

it works actually.

Tell me if you need anything,

'cause it's all hands on deck

on this one.

Yeah.

I'm making a pretty big

announcement toady

about the next phase of

our company's future.

I need to know you're

gonna be a team player,

no matter what.

Yeah. Yeah, Ted.

You can count on me.

My office, 10 minutes.

All right.

Hey, guys. Guys, guess what?

I think Ted's gonna

make me sales manager.

ALL:
Oh!

Bam! Snap!

What?

Bam, snap. It's like,

a new catchphrase I'm trying.

-Yeah, it's not really working.

-It's a work in progress.

-I love it.

-Thank you, Mike.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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