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came up with the avalanche thing.

- That saved my life.

- Ha-ha-ha.

And the way she dressed was like

an assistant principal or something.

I felt like I was in detention.

- I got a girl for you.

- Yeah?

Blond lady. From my belly-dancing class.

A little bit on the plus size.

But when she gets to moving,

all that flapping can make it happen.

- No good.

- That big girl would hit that Hooters...

...like a hurricane. Agh!

Chicken. Steak. Fries. And a Diet Coke.

- All right! Gotcha!

- Ha-ha-ha.

I'm out, man. No more dating for me.

It's time and money

I should be spending with my kids.

Look who it is.

Hey, Larry!

My all-star! Give me some.

It's Hilary, Dad, which is bad enough.

You gonna leave me hanging?

Boom. Guess what?

The new Kodiak tents just arrived.

In time for spring break.

We're going camping in our back yard

again this year?

Why? You too old for that?

No. It's just some kids in my class

are going to Florida...

...or to Colorado or even Switzerland.

You got a lot of rich kids in your school.

- We don't got that kind of money.

- I know. It'd just be nice to go someplace.

You know where you could take her

that's cheap?

My belly-dancing class.

Oh. Put that away. Seriously.

Excuse me, sir?

I'm here to pick up my basketball uniform.

Did you just call me "sir"?

- Yeah.

- I'm a girl.

That's one fugly girl.

Hey, man, that's his daughter.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Mm.

Hey, honey,

how's the math homework coming?

Are any of the tutor's shortcuts helping?

Did you go on a date?

A date? Who told you I went on a date?

You should really change

your e-mail password, little Miss 072099.

That is the last time

I use your birthday as a password.

I can't believe you read my e-mails.

Brendan, I love you...

...but we have to learn to respect

each other's privacy in this house.

Who's Jim?

Nobody, honey. A buffoon.

Trust me. It was nothing.

- You promise?

- Promise.

Hey! No wheels in the house!

- I've told you this!

- Aah!

Tackle him, Mom! Get him!

Did your dad take you for ice cream

on the way home?

- Spank him!

- Rocky Road and mint chocolate chip!

- Take him to the ground!

- I'm on top of the world! Goose, goose!

- Yeah.

- You're dead!

No more titty twisters, guys!

You only have two titties

for the rest of your lives!

We need to learn to love and respect them.

I always did.

How many times have I told you...

...not to pump him full of sugar

before you drop him off?

Oh, come on. Going out with Dad

for an ice cream cone...

...is a lasting memory for a kid.

Oh, okay. Well, if Dad

spent more time with him...

...then the memories

wouldn't have to be so "lasting."

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