Blades Of Glory Page #3

sweeter than winning a gold medal

is sharing it

with your fellow countryman.

Gosh, I'm getting sick.

You smell like

aftershave and taco meat.

Yes, I do. Now scoot over.

Don't touch me. Nobody touches me.

- Just scoot over, man.

- Don't.

- Just scoot over.

- You scoot over.

LAMPLEY:
Now there's some jostling

atop the podium

and down goes

Chazz Michael Michaels.

MacElroy still waving to the crowd.

Look, MacElroy's also down now.

SCOTT:
I have never in all my years

seen anything

this disgraceful on the world stage.

I am stunned silent,

absolutely silent, Jim.

You get that damned bird out of my face

before I break its neck.

LAMPLEY:
A perfect head butt!

Down goes MacElroy!

SCOTT:
And Spaetzle's aflame!

Spaetzle! Oh, my God!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(GIRL CRYING)

MAN ON TV:
As we prepare to hear

testimony, Michaels and MacElroy

will be given a chance

to defend their actions at Stockholm...

We love you, Jimmy.

Hey. Nancy Kerrigan.

You an official here?

'Cause you have officially given me

a boner.

I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear.

It's a real disease with doctors

and medicine and everything.

(GAVEL POUNDING)

EBBERS:
Let's get started, shall we?

If either one of you would like

to make a statement

before the commission

passes judgment,

you may do so at this time.

Fans, friends, esteemed members

of the committee,

I don't know what I can say,

but I pray you can all forgive me.

More than that,

I pray the children can forgive me.

Oh, my God.

- I place my future in their tiny hands.

- That is retarded.

God bless you. God bless everyone.

Thank you.

God bless you, Jimmy.

God bless your heart.

Maxim.

Last issue.

"Chazz Michael Michaels

is figure skating."

Boom!

(WOMAN CHEERING)

All right, duly noted.

In accordance with the rules of

the International Skating Federation,

James MacElroy

and Charles Michael Michaels,

you are to be stripped of your medals...

What?

...and banned from men's figure skating

for the remainder of your lives!

Hey, you listen to me, old man!

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

Oh, that sucks.

Look what you did to my ex-wife!

I'm gonna pop you

in the back of the head.

Banned for life. That's a long time.

Jimmy, it'll all work out.

It's time for a fresh start.

- Yeah, a fresh start. Exactly.

- Good. Jimmy,

- I'm un-adopting you.

- What?

I don't think un-adopting

is the right word.

Legally, I'm disowning you.

But it amounts to the same thing, so...

But I've been your son for 26 years.

Twenty-two, so nobody can say

I didn't try. We've had a good run.

Now, I think it would be best for all of us

if we didn't drag this out. Clean break.

It would make it easier for me, Jimmy,

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