Blackadder's Christmas Carol Page #3
- Year:
- 1988
- 43 min
- 1,544 Views
Strip away the outer layers of a fat git,
and inside you'll probably find a...
..thin git.
Those orphans were a bit fat, too.
There's some truth there.
When I visit them I remove all sharp objects
for fear of bursting one of them
and getting showered
in two dozen semi-digested pies.
But as long as they're happy.
At least we've still got our turkey.
And who knows, Christmas is a time for miracles,
so maybe, if we close our eyes really tight
and pray to the big pink pixie in the sky,
someone will come and reward us.
- Come on.
- Dear, innocent Mr Baldrick.
- See!
- Well baste my steaming puddings!
Good evening, sir and madam.
Good evening. We've come
to reward the virtuous this Christmas Eve.
Good heavens!
We have heard many stories
of your kindness and generosity.
Well one tries.
- So please...
- Yes?
Give us 10 for the virtuous lady next door.
Ah, well we'd love to oblige,
but we haven't got anything to give.
You must have something. A goose?
Oh, Albert!
We've only got a turkey, see.
That's ideal.
- Aw...
- There's a bit of luck!
Mr Baldrick, fetch the turkey.
Your accent suggests
that you are not from round here.
Ah... Nein.
I am from Glasgow.
Ah, a fine city. I love the Gorbals.
Yes, the Gorbals, I love them, too.
A lovely couple, lots of fun.
Bye-bye, birdy.
- Well done indeed. Good evening.
- Good evening.
If I see Mr and Mrs Gorbal,
I give them your regards.
Oh, dear, Mr Baldrick, it looks
like we're in for a thin Christmas.
Don't worry, I'm hanging my sock up
so Santa will come down the chimney.
If there's one thing that'll stop
Santa coming down the chimney,
it's your sock waiting for him.
If I don't hang it out, how will Santa fill it?
If you do hang it out,
Santa will be dead
before he gets within 100 yards of it.
- Don't you have any others?
- One.
Don't worry, my dear fellow,
take one of mine from the linen cupboard.
I'm off to bed. There's nothing else to stay up for.
- Goodnight, Mr Baldrick.
- Night.
Ooh, I forgot to mention, when you were out there,
there was this enormous ghostly
creature come in saying,
"Beware, for tonight you shall receive
a strange and terrible visitation."
I just thought I'd mention it.
It come through the wall
said its piece, then sodded off.
- Oh, fine. Goodnight, Mr Baldrick.
- Night night.
Whoo-oo. Whoo-oo.
Whoo-oo. Whoo-oo. Whoo-oo.
Whoo-oo. Whoop!
- Can I help?
- No, thanks. No. No, no.
Just came to say hello.
Spirit of Christmas, how d'you do?
Just doing my usual rounds, a bit of haunting,
getting misers to change their ways.
But you're such a good chap,
there's no need for any of that.
So I'll just say cheery-bye. Cheery-bye.
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"Blackadder's Christmas Carol" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/blackadder's_christmas_carol_4216>.
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