Blackadder's Christmas Carol Page #3

Synopsis: Edmund Blackadder and Baldrick his dogsbody are transplanted this time to Dickensian England in this one-off episode. He is kind, gentle and caring, but visits from an assortment of ghosts soon have him back to his old ways.
 
IMDB:
8.0
Year:
1988
43 min
1,544 Views


Strip away the outer layers of a fat git,

and inside you'll probably find a...

..thin git.

Those orphans were a bit fat, too.

There's some truth there.

When I visit them I remove all sharp objects

for fear of bursting one of them

and getting showered

in two dozen semi-digested pies.

But as long as they're happy.

At least we've still got our turkey.

And who knows, Christmas is a time for miracles,

so maybe, if we close our eyes really tight

and pray to the big pink pixie in the sky,

someone will come and reward us.

- Come on.

- Dear, innocent Mr Baldrick.

- See!

- Well baste my steaming puddings!

Good evening, sir and madam.

Good evening. We've come

to reward the virtuous this Christmas Eve.

Good heavens!

We have heard many stories

of your kindness and generosity.

Well one tries.

- So please...

- Yes?

Give us 10 for the virtuous lady next door.

Ah, well we'd love to oblige,

but we haven't got anything to give.

You must have something. A goose?

Oh, Albert!

We've only got a turkey, see.

That's ideal.

- Aw...

- There's a bit of luck!

Mr Baldrick, fetch the turkey.

Your accent suggests

that you are not from round here.

Ah... Nein.

I am from Glasgow.

Ah, a fine city. I love the Gorbals.

Yes, the Gorbals, I love them, too.

A lovely couple, lots of fun.

Bye-bye, birdy.

- Well done indeed. Good evening.

- Good evening.

If I see Mr and Mrs Gorbal,

I give them your regards.

Oh, dear, Mr Baldrick, it looks

like we're in for a thin Christmas.

Don't worry, I'm hanging my sock up

so Santa will come down the chimney.

If there's one thing that'll stop

Santa coming down the chimney,

it's your sock waiting for him.

If I don't hang it out, how will Santa fill it?

If you do hang it out,

Santa will be dead

before he gets within 100 yards of it.

- Don't you have any others?

- One.

Don't worry, my dear fellow,

take one of mine from the linen cupboard.

I'm off to bed. There's nothing else to stay up for.

- Goodnight, Mr Baldrick.

- Night.

Ooh, I forgot to mention, when you were out there,

there was this enormous ghostly

creature come in saying,

"Beware, for tonight you shall receive

a strange and terrible visitation."

I just thought I'd mention it.

It come through the wall

said its piece, then sodded off.

- Oh, fine. Goodnight, Mr Baldrick.

- Night night.

Whoo-oo. Whoo-oo.

Whoo-oo. Whoo-oo. Whoo-oo.

Whoo-oo. Whoop!

- Can I help?

- No, thanks. No. No, no.

Just came to say hello.

Spirit of Christmas, how d'you do?

Just doing my usual rounds, a bit of haunting,

getting misers to change their ways.

But you're such a good chap,

there's no need for any of that.

So I'll just say cheery-bye. Cheery-bye.

Rate this script:4.8 / 56 votes

Richard Curtis

Richard Whalley Anthony Curtis, CBE (born 8 November 1956) is a New Zealand-born English screenwriter, producer and film director. One of Britain's most successful comedy screenwriters, he is known primarily for romantic comedy films such as Four Weddings and a Funeral, Bridget Jones's Diary, Notting Hill, and Love Actually, as well as the hit sitcoms Blackadder, Mr. Bean and The Vicar of Dibley. He is also the co-founder of the British charity Comic Relief along with Lenny Henry. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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