Black Magic

Father, for heaven's sake,

what is this?

Night after night.

Scribbling as if you've got

the very devil in you.

I've got the devil in me,

or worse.

Why, father, this doesn't sound

like you at all.

This man, this fantastic man...

I tell you, he's under my skin.

They say he hypnotized

half the world.

I swear to you, he's got me

hypnotized too.

What man?

That man.

That mind menacing mammal.

That... Cagliostro.

Oh, Cagliostro!

The 18th century charlatan.

Was he a charlatan?

I don't know.

I've written books.

Pages enough to paper the walls

of the Paris Opera House.

Characters enough

to fill a regiment.

"The Count of Monte Cristo,"

"The Corsican Brothers,"

"The Three Musketeers,"

Porthos, Athos, Aramis,

"Chicot the Jester,"

"D'Artagnan. "

But I wrote them.

This man is writing me.

All right, all right.

When I left the opera, I thought

I was going peacefully to bed,

but I inflicted my novel "Camille"

on you last week.

Now, what was this fellow Cagliostro?

How in the name

of all the saints would I know?

Devil.

Mountebank.

Fool.

I'm still wondering.

But his real name

was Joseph Balsamo.

His mother and father

were gypsies.

It is in the South of France

that we first hear of him.

Joseph's mother seems to have had

a genuine gift of clairvoyance.

At a gypsy fair she looked into

the eyes of a farmers baby

and foretold its illness.

A few days later, the baby died

and Joseph and his parents

were brought to trial before

the prefect of the district,

the Vicomte DeMontagne.

The charge was that Joseph's mother

was a sorceress,

and that all three

were disciples of the devil.

She's the witch that murdered

our boy, Excellency.

No.

Lying, murdering gypsies!

That's what they be.

Jacob.

He never had a sick day

in his life, my Lord,

'til she looked at him

with those wicked eyes.

"You're sick," she says,

"you're very sick. "

And my grandchild died!

It's a lie!

My mother had nothing to do with it.

She did not, my Lord.

Highness, Excellency,

if you would let me speak.

Maria never hurt a soul.

She's a mother herself.

It's just she has a...

sort of sixth sense

which told her this baby felt sick.

The baby never had

a sick day in his life.

If I could be allowed to speak...

Father, these people cause

nothing but trouble

with the devil's practices.

Devils have been the business

of the church

ever since the fall of Lucifer.

There have been cases

of clairvoyance, second sight...

There's no such thing!

Then how can you explain

the visions of the prophets?

The prophets weren't gypsies, Father.

I find no evil in this woman.

I said I heard enough.

It's none of your business.

Woman, the bailiff will give you

two pieces of silver.

Raise another child

and keep it away from such as these.

And as for the gypsies...

Hang them both.

You won't hang my mother.

Not my mother! No.

Take this filth!

Excellency, as a priest

I must ask...

As prefect I must ask you

to hold your tongue.

Hang them both!

Why, you...

I've probably contracted rabies.

Bailiff, put him

on the whipping post.

If he survives the whipping...

No, no!

Put out his eyes!

No, not his eyes!

Not his eyes.

Ugh...

Bailiff.

He's still conscious.

Are you ready?

Yes.

Joseph.

Joseph!

Joseph.

Huh?

Gitano.

Joseph, bambino.

Gitano.

No. No, Joseph. No.

Don't look.

No, Gitano. I have to remember.

They made me watch

while they hanged them.

Mother took along time to die.

I hardly felt a whip after that.

Those things

are best forgotten, Joseph.

No, I want to remember

as long as I live.

And that man's name, DeMontagne.

The Vicomte DeMontagne.

There's no time for remembering now.

Jacob, cover him.

They'll be changing the guard.

Hey.

After that, very little is known

except that the boy, Joseph,

grew up into an insolent

devil may care Vagabond.

When we next hear of him,

he was in Vienna

with a gypsy caravan

presenting a show that was a mixture

of black magic and fake cure-alls.

Ladies and gentlemen,

and fellow sufferers.

The great Balsamo

is again ready for you.

A thousand blessings.

From the darkness beyond night,

from the forbidden mountains

of the secret side of the moon.

Behold.

A wonder among wonders.

Yeeh!

But we come not here to trade,

or gather wealth,

for friends, what use is money

without health?

Ladies and gentlemen,

the elixir of life!

The elixir of life.

Vitaminicus balsumicus

rejuvenatus!

Bottled by me alone

in the fountain of youth

deep in the jungles of Hispaniola.

The elixir of life.

One bottle for the paltry charge

of a silver shilling.

Which one of you here

is so racked with pain

that life has lost its smile?

Elixir. Only one shilling.

One shilling, please.

Elixir of life.

- The easy way to live, doctor.

- Um-hum.

A shilling for a bottle of colored water.

And the faculty of medicine

won't accept my theories for nothing.

You're not flamboyant enough.

Elixir of life, one shilling.

What more proof do you need,

all you lucky people?

Give me a shilling.

Here, a shilling.

Please, you have to sell me a bottle.

Sorry, that's the last of them.

Oh, just one.

You've got just one. For my mother.

- Here, I pay double.

- But they're all gone.

- Five shillings then.

- Five shillings?

We can't pass up five shillings.

Hey. Get one more bottle.

- Here is one.

- Here is one.

Hey! Hey, five shillings.

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