Billy Madison Page #2

Jeez, what...?

Are you some damned moron?

Can't you just stop for two seconds?

I'm trying to tell you that I'm retiring,

and Eric, not you,...

- ..is gonna take over Madison Hotels.

- Eric?!

You're gonna give the company to Eric?

He is a bad, bad man!

What do you care, Billy? What do you care

who I appoint to run the company, huh?

I mean, I'm doin' you a favour.

You don't ever have to look for a job.

You can sit around all day, goofing off,

sipping drinks, chasing invisible penguins.

Is that it, Dad?

Did the penguin tell you to do this?

- Penguin?

- What an idiot.

You know, I could help Billy

until he gets the hang of it.

I think crazy Carl is right. I mean,

I can do this if I set my mind to it.

High school was a pain in the ass,

but I graduated.

Because I paid your teachers

to give you decent grades.

I've regretted it every day since.

I thought at the time...

..if you could get good grades,

you might get into a good college...

- ..and straighten yourself out.

- I don't believe that.

Well, what do you believe?

That you were an honours student?

How could I hand over to someone who

couldn't get through school on his own?

I don't know. Don't think about it.

Just hand it over.

Forget it.

Well, listen, don't you think you better

go to bed? Big day tomorrow.

A day filled with daiquiris

and Nintendos and jack-off magazines...

Dad!

Yeah, what?

Give me one more chance.

I'll prove I can take over.

I'll do anything it takes. I'll go back

to high school and take the exams again.

- I'll get my diploma all by myself.

- Billy, Billy, it wasn't just high school.

Remember that spelling bee

you won in the first grade?

- No, you didn't.

- Rock.

R-o-k.

Yeah? So what's your point?

- R-o-c-k!

- The C is silent.

OK, all right.

All right, you got it. First grade

through 12th grade all over again.

I'll do each grade in two weeks,

take the tests, regraduate,...

..prove to you I'm not an idiot, and then

I get to take over Madison Hotels.

That's some idea.

- You just think of that?

- Yeah, I did. It's pretty good, huh?

Brian, don't you think

the future of Madison Hotels...

..and its 61,000 employees is too

important to gamble on a game like this?

No.

You're on.

Carl, you make the arrangements.

You pass every grade before June 15

and you take over instead of Eric.

Have a nice weekend, son.

You start school on Monday.

Oh!

Give 'em hell, Bill.

Nice try, asswipe.

But you're just delaying the inevitable.

(~ 'I'll Tumble 4 Ya' by Culture Club )

~ Downtown we'll drown,

we're in our never splendour

~ Flowers, showers

~ Who's got the new boy gender?

~ I'll be your baby, I'll be your score

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes