Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure Page #2

Do you know when

the Mongols ruled China?

Well... perhaps we could ask them.

Bill S. Preston, Esquire...

...and Ted "Theodore" Logan.

Gentlemen, I'm here to help you

with your history report.

What?

How?

Whoa!

- Whoo!

- I hate that part.

- Bill?

- What?

Strange things are afoot

at the Circle K.

Dudes, you guys

are gonna go back in time.

Yeah!

You are going to have a most excellent

adventure through history.

- Who are you guys?

- We're you, dude!

No way. No way!

- Yes way, Ted!

- Look, we know how you feel.

We didn't believe it either

when we were you

and we-us said what we-us

are saying right now.

OK wait, if you guys are really us...

...what number are we thinking of?

Sixty-nine, dudes!

Whoa!

Look, we've gotta go.

Yeah, we gotta get back to the report.

Rufus!

Listen to this dude, Rufus.

He knows what he's talking about.

Right. Oh, and Ted,

give my love to the princesses.

- Who?

- You'll see.

Gentleman... is everything all right?

Yeah, except, how come...

Ted, don't forget to wind your watch!

Thanks, Rufus.

Catch ya later, Bill and Ted.

Dude, are you sure

we should be doing this?

Ted, you and I have

witnessed many things,

but nothing as bodacious

as what just happened.

Besides we told ourselves

to listen to this guy.

What if we were lying?

Why would we lie to ourselves?

How are you gonna help us?

Yeah, are you gonna call someone

and get the answers?

Gentlemen, we're gonna do

a lot more than that.

Whoa. Excellent.

Brace yourselves, amigos.

Gentlemen...

...we're history.

Rufus, where are we, dude?

These are the circuits

of history, gentlemen.

They'll take us to

any point in time we wish.

How?

Modern technology, William.

Whoa!

- That was most unprecedented, Rufus.

- Yeah.

But where are we, Rufus?

Austria, 1805,

the French have just invaded.

Bill, check it out!

We're in the middle of a war, dude!

Amigos, time to depart.

How's it going, dude?

Now where are we, dude?

Oh, it's my house.

Rufus, can we go anywhere we want,

at any time?

Gentlemen, you can do anything you want,

as long as you remember this:

No matter what happens,

you must get to that report. Got it?

All right, amigos, that book

will give you the number

of any place you want to go.

Now, most important,

no matter what you do,

no matter where you go,

that clock, the clock in San Dimas,

is always running. Got it?

- Yeah.

- All right, time for me to go.

What do you mean, Rufus?

Yeah, aren't you coming with us?

Gentlemen, you're on your own.

- Ted?

- What?

This has been a most unusual day.

- Ted, it's Napoleon.

- Who?

The short, dead dude

from our history review.

Ted, I have a most excellent idea.

Rate this script:4.7 / 3 votes