Big Bear Page #2

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in weddings, you know,

the idea of families

coming together.

But I do believe in finishing

what you started,

so, you know, you said you're

gonna marry this girl and, uh...

Uh, cheers?

Cheers. Yeah, cheers.

Okay, end of show.

That's you, Joe, Mr. bachelor.

Speech!

Are you guys, done?

Are you done with your little

speeches and your little rules?

- Yeah.

- What's going on, Joe?

I'm not getting married.

- What?

- Are you serious?

Oh, sh*t.

- It's probably for the best.

- Shut your mouth, Colin.

Oh, f*** it.

- What happened?

- I don't know. I, uh...

I came home today after work.

This happened today?

Yeah, right before

I drove up here.

Oh, f***.

She was sitting

in the kitchen, crying.

Her...

Her ring was on the table,

and she said...

Um...

She said it was over.

Ouch, dude.

What happened to your hand?

- I punched a hole in the wall.

- You okay?

Yeah.

I don't think it's broken.

No, I mean, you.

Are you okay?

Oh, um, yeah.

Yeah, I think...

I think so.

Maybe it's for the best.

That you found out

that she's a b*tch now

and not two weeks from now?

Or before a couple of gremlins

crawled out of her.

Which you have to pay

child support for

when you only get

to see them every two weeks.

You only see your kids

twice a month?

It's a f***ing travesty, Nick,

but here's the thing.

I try to look at the positive,

they have soccer games

on the weekends.

I have my boat time.

I don't bring the kids there.

It's dangerous, you know.

There's water. They can't swim.

It's not a safe place

for the kids, no.

But I get to do

bachelor parties though.

That's the one good thing.

Bachelor parties

with my buddies.

- Yeah!

- Oh, sh*t.

It's not your bachelor party

anymore.

I'm sorry, Joe.

Hey, man, did she

say anything else?

Anything? I mean...

Did she say there was

someone else?

Joe? Joe?

Joe.

- Joe.

- Joe!

This is so f***ing bad.

Look, I just came up here

to let you guys know

that the bachelor party's

over, all right?

I'm sorry.

I know that you guys

were really looking forward

to this weekend,

but what I need to do right now

is just figure out my life.

What'd you have in mind?

Well, for starters,

before it closes,

I'm gonna go to Ikea.

- Ikea?

- Yeah.

I don't have anything

to sleep on tonight.

Okay, you just got dumped

two weeks before your wedding,

like garbage,

- and you wanna go to Ikea?

- Yeah, yeah.

I need furniture, you know?

I think you just need

to chill out for a minute.

Took his furniture.

It happened to me.

No, I didn't own any with her.

It was all hers.

And I am chill, all right?

Okay, okay. I can see that

you need furniture.

Why Ikea?

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