Big Ass Spider Page #2

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It's got these long black

legs, like a spider,

but it's much too

big to be a spider.

We've got to call somebody.

Look, if it was bigger than a

spider, it wasn't a spider.

I'm sure- A black

cat, maybe, Carl.

It's too big to be

a- Call somebody.

Was it a monkey?

Why would it be a monkey?

Could've been a spider. Carl, right?

Okay. Listen,

it may in fact have

been a giant tarantula.

I've seen tarantulas as

big as a foot across.

Who's this guy?

He happens to be

an exterminator.

Spiders happen to

be my specialty.

I know what spiders are thinking.

I get into a spider's head.

I think like a spider. I move

like a spider, all eight legs.

I become a spider

to catch a spider.

[MAKES SPIDER NOISES]

Okay, all right. Do you

want to go down with

Carl and maybe take

care of this thing?

I'd really appreciate it. As you can

see, I've got my hands full here.

Right now? Yeah.

I'd really appreciate it.

I would love to do that for you.

Carl, we could do that.

Sure. I love to work pro Bono.

Okay, that's great.

I appreciate that.

No problem at all.

No problem. I just have a quick

thing to discuss. See this?

This is my bill for the hospital.

I haven't settled this yet,

so I'll take care of this for you

if you take care of this for me.

Sort of quid pro quo pro Bono.

Sounds fair to me, boss.

Thank you, Jose.

Yes, fine. That's great. Consider

your visit on the house.

Thank you.

Great. Okay, Carl, will

you take this gentleman

downstairs, and let's get

rid of this bug, okay?

Okay, boss, but I

don't feel so good.

Let me see the bite.

Okay, I'm going to

get you to the E.R.

It's going to be an

intern's nightmare.

Woof.

Jose.

Yeah.

Will you please take our bug-

killing friend to the morgue?

Oh, sure.

Anything he needs, just

take care of it, okay?

You got it, boss.

Gracias.

I'm going to have to grab a couple

things from my... from my truck.

That's okay.

You're not a real police

officer, are you?

Security guard.

Okay. All right, my

truck's out back.

Okay. Oh, and they

hand me a gun.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, put it away.

I will. I have handcuffs, too.

Good. Okay.

I got some mace.

Sure.

So you get in the mind

of the spider, really?

I do.

That's crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

it's a little nuts.

Sir, we have a location.

E.T.A. 5 minutes.

It's over here.

Uh-oh, the lights

don't work so good.

[MAKES SPIDER SOUND]

It's cold in here.

No, spiders don't like it cold.

They like it warm. Dark and warm.

Well, that's good.

Hey, Jorge.

Uh-huh.

Can you get my flash light?

It's in the side of my bag.

Sure.

My name's Jose. Okay? Okay.

Oh, my God.

What?

Oh, God.

What?

This is so gross.

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