Best Night Ever

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1

But I'm gonna take

more now than later

get real reckless

and wake your neighbors

you know how we do

every time we're out

gonna make you scream and shout

pouring shots up in your mouth

Are you really going

to film everything?

Yes.

Hi. Hi, Claire.

Trust me. One day you'll watch this and thank

me for capturing your last night of freedom.

So come on, you're on.

Okay. Hi, I'm Claire Russell...

soon to be Clair Russell-Morris...

as I'm getting married

next Saturday.

Whoo!

And we're on our way to Vegas.

For my bachelorette party.

Whoo!

Yeah!

I don't know what else to say.

I feel stupid.

Just say anything.

Say whatever you want.

I'm in love.

With my soul mate Dave Morris...

and I can't believe it...

but I really did find the one.

Punch buggy.

Ow.

I'm Zoe.

I'm Claire's best friend.

And not a lot of people know...

but when Claire was 12...

I taught her how to kiss.

Shut up.

We need to get everything

out in the open.

No, but... But seriously.

No joke.

You are my BFF...

and you've always

been there for me.

Whenever I've been in trouble.

Yeah, like...

Like anything.

You've always been there for me.

And even though

you're getting hitched...

we're still going to have

a girls' night out, right?

Yes, Zoe.

I love this girl.

Punch buggy!

All right, Leslie, you're up.

Pass.

Come on.

Just say who you are.

Leslie bowman,

Clair's wiser older sister...

only by a couple of years.

Five, but who's counting?

Yeah, burn.

Burn. Sss.

I'm sorry. How do you and

Claire even know each other?

I have a mobile

dog grooming business...

you know, the kind

that go to your house.

Oh.

Yeah, I've been shaving Claire's

muffin for about three years now.

Her dog's name is scout.

I know. I was talking

about her p*ssy.

Punch... Punch...

punch pick up.

Stickers! Stickers!

You guys not from around here?

No.

Los Angeles.

Oh, yeah.

We're on our way to Vegas.

- Oh, you're on your way to Vegas?

- Yeah.

What happens in Vegas

stays in Vegas.

Yeah.

Mack mack all dressed

in black black black...

with silver buttons buttons buttons.

All down her back back back.

She jumped too high high high...

I got her.

Oh, daddy, yeah,

make 'em say "oh, daddy"

I need to pee.

Oh, look, champagne.

We should grab a bottle.

I really gotta pee.

Where do we use the restroom?

- Outside.

- Outside?

What did you get?

Oh, you got a wine.

Whoo! Party in the bathroom.

Don't drink all my wine.

Is it good?

Want some?

Yeah.

Par... Oh, you're driving.

You're driving.

Let's start off

on a high note

I'm the one who put

the "I dot" in the "I"

and I don't take no

from no man no way

never gonna give

into the know not robot

for real, never stand still

always on my grind,

always gotta bail

always gotta elevate

and never give in

one more breath now,

let's begin

... Party

with them girls again

and all the people

in the place

are in their places

and in their faces

lots of friends,

bottles in their hands

Whoo! Vegas, here we come!

Whoo-hoo!

We're here!

Let's lose control

like everything

is all right, all right

it's real,

the way that I feel

and we're gonna do it

all night, all night

let's roll,

let's lose control

like everything

is all right, all right

it's real,

the way that I feel

and we're gonna do it all

night, all night

all night

Okay, let's go over

the itinerary.

We check into the hotel...

penthouse suite of course.

Hey, I don't go

no penthouse money.

Relax. It's on me.

Leslie married a rich dude.

She's a one-percenter.

We'll have a privately

catered in-suite dinner...

lobster, caviar, the works.

Lobster!

Then we'll see Celine Dion

in concert...

front row center seats.

Wake up to brunch pool side

at the Bellagio.

Thank you, Leslie.

It sounds amazing.

It's very generous of you.

Yeah, sounds awesome.

But I never heard the words

"man-ass" or "footlong"

anywhere in your itinerary.

That's because it's not that

kind of bachelorette party.

Oh.

What about games?

What game?

The bachelorette party game.

You know, like,

getting a random guy.

To give us his underwear.

Or kissing a dude

with a mustache.

Uh, no.

Cool.

Show us your tits!

You show us your balls.

Show her your balls.

Yeah, baby!

Welcome to Vegas, girls!

The valet.

I got racks on racks

'cause I got it like that

and you can't beat that

with a baseball bat

I got it like that,

I got it like that

I got it like that

and you can't beat that

with a bat

I got it like that,

I got it like that

I got it like that

you can't beat that

with a bat, no

We have a reservation

under the name bowman...

Leslie bowman.

Okay, have fun,

but not too much fun.

Love you, too.

Bye.

What's Dave doing

for his bachelor party?

His friends got a hotel room.

For poker night

and "entertainment".

You're okay with that?

It's his bachelor party.

Boys will be boys.

But I trust him.

Sucker.

I have you for one night

in the penthouse.

Excellent,

that's our most opulent suite.

It's over 3,000 square feet.

With four separate

bedroom suites...

marble baths,

eight flat screens...

and a full time Butler.

Holy sh*t,

I think I just squirted.

Perfect.

The room is $4,500 a night...

and I'll need a credit card deposit

for additional incidentals.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Bowman...

but your credit card representative

would like to speak with you.

Wonder what happened.

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