Bernie Page #3

But there`s a right way and

a wrong way to approach this.

It was his idea to put up

more crosses on the wall

and change the lighting,

make it feel more like a

church or a sacred place,

Iess like a business or an office.

Were you thinking

interment or cremation?

I beg your pardon?

He means buried or burned.

Buried. We already have the plots.

I am so happy for you.

Can I tell you, I am

not fond of cremations.

I just don`t Iike the idea

of someone spending eternity

in something the size

of a motel ice bucket.

I`d just soon drop you in a ditch

by the side of the road.

Hey.

I want to keep it simple.

Yeah, this is..this is fine.

- I see.

- Yeah.

Now, these composite wood with

cloth we sell mostly to the county

to bury the unclaimed, the indigent,

and also no warranty, of course.

Warranty?

Oh, with our better caskets,

we, uh, guarantee that your remains

will be untouched by

rainwater, pesky insects,

burrowing animals searching for food..

AIso, now tall are you, Mr. Eccles?

About 6`2``.

Oh, dear.

These economy boxes are not very Iarge.

We may have to make a Ieg

adjustment to get a proper fit.

Leg adjustment?

Well, not necessarily break

the Iegs but definitely

- bend the feet..

- No! No,

I..I won`t have it.

Then may I suggest..

the Corinthian.

? Just as I am ?

? Without one ?

I`m pretty sure the first

time Bernie met Mrs. Nugent

was at the time of Mr. Nugent`s funeral.

? Was shared for me ?

? And that thou be come ?

Her husband, Dwayne,

he was just a tough old typical old man.

And he Iiked to do

business just a handshake,

He would say things like..

I`II

guaran-damn-tee yah..

He was some kind of exploration

guy with a big oil company

and he made a whole Iot

of money back in the 60s.

He was too tight to spend any of it

but he Iiked to invest his

money in everything he could.

? T o thee who`s blood can cleanse ?

? Each spot o` Iand ?

As a matter of fact, he even

bought a bank here in town.

I believe it was `87,

he bought the bank.

He run that sucker with a hard fist.

Just, I mean, he was kinda..

abrupt, and the way..

I appreciate it.

the way he done business and stuff.

Of course, then after he

died, well, then she took over

and she started having

a position that he had

and if it was said that he was kinda

disliked in the way he did business,

you`d have to say that

she was literally hated,

`cause that old heifer,

she turned down Ioans just for a hobby.

She was just a mean old hateful b*tch.

Hey. There`s just no

other way to put it.

She wasn`t friendly.

She..she really wasn`t,

and she probably.. there

are people in town, honey,

that woulda shot her for

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