Bernie Page #2
Oh, Iook at that, you`ve
got these partitions.
That`s so nice.
So, you got your associate`s
degree in Mortuary Science at State?
Yes, sir.
PIay any ball over there?
Uh, no no, sir.
I wanted to concentrate on my studies,
as much as I Ioved football and whatnot.
Now here`s our sanctuary.
It`II seat one twenty five.
Look at these green
benches. I Iove them.
Yeah, we changed those.
We had them normal brown for so Iong
and I was a Iittle worried
about this green. I don`t know.
People don`t complain.
I..I don`t either, I
think they`re great.
Oh, I hit the jackpot with that guy.
He`s the most qualified
young man I ever met.
He was excellent at removals,
an artist in the embalming room,
could fix hair like
nobody in the business.
Waited well on the families
in the morning parlor,
could sing like a bird.
He ran a funeral like a professional,
any aspect of the funeral business :
eulogizing, scripture reading,
singing..man, he could do it.
But most of all,
we `re gonna remember
Fred as our friend.
Our..really..close..friend.
? Like me ?
I`II walk you to your car.
You poor thing.
This is so hard.
It`s just so hard.
You`re very brave.
Here now.
Oh, honey,
he was a magician.
He made all of us just Iook beautiful.
I mean, he could make your
wrinkles all just go away,
and he would, if, if you had a overbite,
he`d fix it so it wouldn`t
be so sticky outie.
And he would, um.. take a
and put it in your hand.
I mean, he just made
everybody Iook so beautiful.
Except too bad you were dead.
It seemed Iike no matter
what happened to us,
whether it was car
wrecks or heart attacks
or household poisons, or guns Ieft
Iocked and Ioaded around the house,
or choking on a Iittle piece of meat,
in the end, he always made us Iook good.
Oh, you name the song, he`d sing it.
If country folks came in requesting
an old gospel, he`d sing it.
requesting Loretta Lynn,
he`d sing that, too.
at performing a service,
he was even better at sales.
If you pardon my reach, Mrs. Thompson,
this is a memory drawer.
It wasn`t bullshit, he really believed
that all those little
touches were necessary.
He even came up with this idea:
for 1 50 extra..
``Oh, that I had wings Iike a dove,
I would fly away and be at rest.``
At this moment, as the casket
descends into the ground,
symbolizing Mr. Callahan`s soul..
passing on to the next world,
to the mystery of the great beyond.
Yes, I agree,
that is a Iot of money
to put down in advance.
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"Bernie" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bernie_3923>.
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