Beowulf & Grendel

BEOWULF & GRENDEL (2005)

Grendel

Pappie

Yahhhhh!!! Yahhhhhh

Ahhhh Owwee.

Aohhhhheeweee

Yoeyeo

Yahhhheeoooooooooweewaaaa

Let this great horn tell the world

no man stands above the Danes.

All we look up on is ours.

Hrothgar much loved king of the Danes.

Under Odirs eye I blood you lucky

on all parts that leave this hall.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Blahhhhhhhhhehhhhhhahhhhh!

Ahhhhhh! Blehhahhhhh!

May all those who cross

these steps find a happy heart.

Yay!

Olaf!

Olaf! Pal!

Where were you when all this happened?

Asleep.

I'd had some beers.

What f***ing thing would dare...

G'day

G'Day.

I'd love much to know man, whereabouts?

Fish beach.

Likely I'm the only one

who names it that.

Where I get fish.

I'm Beowulf

Beowulf?

Yea Beowulf the what?

Heh? The eel meal?

You've never had another?

Wash up like myself?

In the name of Breca? Ahhh.

We were out hunting walrus

a couple of days ago...

when a storm came up and ate our boat.

So this is just you coming in now?

Yeah

You've ever swum in the open sea?

I leave that to my boat.

Ahh. I'd like to think you'd botter me.

I can't see much life in that.

Do you do this a lot?

I take what comes.

Good then you'll have no qualms

if supper tastes like you.

Eat, be yourself.

So, what's it like being a hero?

Qualling things with axes and,

and that sword of yours. And what.

Kinda bloody madness. Heh

In truth I don't get all that mad.

So, ahhh hahh-hhhah,

A hero ahhh, A hero for supper.

Don't my sh*t shine.

Hah, hahhhh, hahhh

I'm in your debt

I'm in the fishes.

All these days have come for theirs.

The winds were kind.

No storm waylaid Sawthwood

from his hard walk home.

None in Geatland held so strong the love

of kin as Beowulf.

But coming home he heard the tale.

Friends to the west

slept with slaughter.

...from death upon the Danes.

Great Beowulf alone had best it bares

thought fearless in their mood

for men but now he brought a half score

or more Geat swords

to swing against this thing.

Let's hear the names

Breca the loud.

HahhhAhhhh

Right from the seas.

Lost no son in hoisting sword.

Hoisting swords?

He couldn't hoist his own sail.

The huncho. Queller of puffins

Hahhh.

...and beer.

Shook his shields to shake the world.

No. Just on that scum troll's head.

Beowulf.

Well as we've done these last few years

this sail holds grim bliss for me.

A thing that takes two hundred

in arms is no small thing.

But I will see Valhalla

or that thing's head on a pole.

Aye, aye, aye

So that Danes might say Geats don't

wield words where swords speak truer.

Ayyye. Yea.

Great as our own shield king Is,

there is another nearest kin to me.

None bleed for a better king

than Hrothgar I'd die happy.

Loved as he.

But we live happy even now.

So, Beowulf goes at dawn to the Danes

all you who go along, keep us proud.

Yeahhh!

And if you can find Hondscioh

a wife our sheep have had enough.

Troll!!!!!!!!!

Trollllllllll!

Trollll!!!!!! I call you out!!!!

Trolll!!!!

Trollllllllllllllll!!!!!!!

Meet me the like if you dare!

Or fight me in hell. You hairy creep.

Creep. Creep!

Ahhhmmm.

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Are you wounded?

The thing wouldn't fight.

It spared me to witness this.

Then get up off your arse

with your Thanes insight.

This is no ground for a game.

Ahh, you're wrong where a king

who has had his balls hauled up

his guts it is the ground.

All the broken bone wretches

I've flung to death.

And to Valhalla.

I don't know.

Is that the look of

a man going happily up to the feast?

Or down to the worms?

You talk like a mad man.

No!

Just like the Danish king of daylight

Get up now or do we bury you here?

Is that your wish?

With your thanes in sight?

Whose wife would you have me be?

A burly sword of Christ to cleave you

thus, and thus and thus!

That's one shiny sword.

I'm told you're the Dane's king.

Connaught wishes you well

Celt, you're a ways from home

I am but safe with the sword of Christ.

Father Brendan.

Christ. I - Heard of him.

You ever have much luck with trolls?

I'm of the thought

they've never crossed paths,

but if you're willing to bow

before Christ you shall feel

the blessing of his great strength.

My gods don't ask me to bow.

And nor should they dare

if they won't protect ye.

To fear god's fools is an honor.

I've come to drive this evil out.

With your stick?

With the fire of heaven!

Well if your heavers on fire

you'd better look to that.

You leave me

on a dish for the troll then.

Leave me.

And if I don't see mars stone.

I shall see god's! I shall see god!

Ahhh!

Selma, should I fear for my husband?

You've got nothing better to do?

Sweet don't play the b*tch with me.

I don't ask much and I don't ask often.

No one dares dirty your name around me.

Nor yours around me.

Hrothgar dies happy, in his sleep.

That's a lift.

Selma, I could find

a place for you inside.

We chose our beds along time back.

Men!

Hold there!

As you wish.

Is this land Dane?

It is and you're not.

So unless you're ready for a shower

of arrows you tell who you are!

Two blows from this

and fifty men will be on this beach

before your next breath.

Fifty birds maybe.

Is that then your word?

I'm Beowulf.

Beowulf the Geat?

Ahh, here we go.

We come as friends for Hrothgar.

Well we welcome friends.

Bring what you need.

I'll have men look to your ship.

Welcome to Daneland

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