Beer for My Horses Page #2

Sit, Junior. No.

Stay.

You're gonna love this.

Drugs.

No peeking.

Okay. Here we go.

Okay, boy.

Find the drugs, Junior.

Hold on.

Come here, Junior.

Turn around.

Now get ready.

All right. Come on.

Here we go.

All right, Junior, go ahead.

Find the drugs.

Find the drugs, Junior.

Come on, Junior.

Find the drugs.

Give him a second.

- That's really good, Lonnie.

You know, he might actually

be able to find them

if you glue them to his balls.

What are you turds up to?

Uh, nothing, sheriff.

Well, we're gonna have to

change that.

You boys are working

this weekend.

Work?

- Yeah, work.

It's the opposite of what

you usually do.

Jackson County Co-Op.

You're gonna stake it out

Saturday night.

Someone's been stealing

anhydrous ammonia

from the co-op tanks

and we're gonna catch them.

Well, why would anybody

wanna steal fertilizer?

Why would anyone

name a baby Lonnie?

It's what they use

to cook meth with.

Sheriff Wells over at Altus

says it's getting to be

a big problem over there.

These smaller co-ops

are easier to hit.

Sheriff, why can't

these two guys do the stakeout?

Well, because I said so,

that's why.

Besides, these boys worked

the high school prom

last Saturday night.

- That's nice.

Least they were working

this time.

Last time they were at prom,

I believe they went as a couple.

Eat me.

- You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Ah, ah.

That's quite enough.

We'll take care

of this, sheriff.

See you boys Monday.

You get rid of that...

That damn dog, will you?

Well, it's a K9 recruit, sir.

Right. Get rid of it.

Skunk?

You're a deputy.

Try to look like one.

Where is your gun?

Where's your badge?

Why do I try?

This sucks.

Staring at fertilizer tanks

on a Saturday night.

It's ridiculous.

Why don't you try complaining

a little bit more about it.

See if that helps.

You got something better to do?

- I did.

I was gonna stay home

and take off all my clothes.

Becky was gonna

take off all her clothes,

and we were gonna do

some other stuff

that didn't include looking

at fertilizer tanks with you.

How come Skunk never talks?

He speaks when he's got

something to say.

I've known him my whole life,

he's never said one word to me.

Yeah, he don't talk much.

But he is about the best cop

I ever knew.

I'm a-pretend

I didn't hear that.

How come he carries

that bow and arrow?

You mean, you don't know?

- No.

Skunk was orphaned

at a real young age,

and raised on a reservation

by a great Kiowa

Indian war chief.

I didn't know that.

Yeah. You know that, uh,

pilgrim-looking fellow

on the outside of

the Quaker Oats box?

You mean, the one that

looks like Barbara Bush?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes