Bedtime Stories Page #3

They're both kind of off right now.

Bobbi's been really quiet.

Why don't you go say hi.

I'm gonna pay the donkey guy.

- Is that what stinks in here?

- No, it's the cake.

What did she make, donkey cake?

- [Kids laugh]

- I smell manure.

Hey, you guys. Remember me?

Uncle Skeeter.

Man, you got big.

Haven't seen you in a while.

Happy birthday there, Bobbi.

I'm Patrick. She's Bobbi.

Oh, my bad.

Got you a little something.

Happy birthday, Bobbi.

Here you go.

Picked it up at the hotel.

How's school going?

- Skeeter?

- Yeah.

Getting called to the principal's

office. Look at that.

Have fun with the gifts. And...

Yes, yes.

Shampoo?

And a soap?

Hanger and a towel.

Do not talk about school with them.

What's going on with the school?

- They're closing it down.

- No.

- I'm getting laid off.

- You?

You're like

the classic school principal.

I mean, you're, you're scary

and bad with people.

Children are nervous around you.

That doesn't sound right, but,

I'm just saying, what else could you do?

Maybe, Cuban dictator? Or the bogeyman.

You could be the bogeyman.

- Anyway...

- What, what?

I've got some interviews

set up in Arizona,

which is kind of what I wanted

to talk to you about.

Uh-oh.

I need you to watch the kids...

for a week.

No! No, they don't even like me!

It's not going to be difficult, Skeeter.

My friend Jill

is a teacher at my school.

She'll bring the kids in with her

and watch them till dinnertime.

All you gotta do is the night shift.

Why can't your stupid friend do that?

She's got night school. Skeeter!

My husband left me.

I'm getting laid off.

I, I have to move.

I need your help.

So you need me.

This is good.

I'll do it.

But you got to say,

"Skeeter is the coolest.

I am a nerd."

"Skeeter's the coolest.

I'm a nerd?"

Yeah, you are! Whoo!

OK. Hey, you guys.

I'm going to hang out with you

this week. All right?

Maybe we can go... fishing.

I'd rather you didn't.

Patrick's not a strong swimmer.

OK, we'll stay inside.

How about, uh,

we play some poker?

- I can teach you that.

- Gambling? I don't think so.

OK, how about we

just take walks in the park

- and catalog plant species?

- Now you're talking.

I don't know anything about plants

except you try to make cakes

out of them!

He liked that one.

I'm gonna end with a laugh.

Give me some. Huh?

I wasn't gonna hit you.

I was trying to do the fist thing.

You don't know the fist thing?

OK, I was just...

That's what, uh, the children do.

Hey, yeh, yeh.

Oh, this your truck, chief?

Yes, it is, ma'am.

You realize you're taking up

two parking spaces?

It's a big truck, ma'am.

It's not that big, sir.

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