Bedazzled Page #11

or shall we just call

the whole thing, um...

Aaah!

Hello, Stanley.

Just tap this for me, would you?

What are we doing up here?

Trapping a few wasps.

Wasps? Blimey!

Come on, my darlings.

Come on, my beastlies.

Out of the nest, into the jar. Come on.

How'd it go, Stanley?

You know perfectly well how it went.

That Bagshot bloke

looked exactly like you.

Well, there's a lot

of me in everyone.

It was even worse than the last time.

I've never been so miserable.

Wasn't she physical enough?

She was physical, all right.

She was too physical.

She was physical all over

the place, except with me.

Oh, don't be too hard on her.

Fornication's such a puny sin.

What she did to me

was unforgivable.

You're just like all my clients.

Absolutely typical.

If Margaret had come in and told

you she'd murdered the gardener...

you'd have forgiven her,

shielded her from the police.

Just because she has a bit of

harmless fun with some young man...

doesn't do anybody any damage...

you want to strangle her.

You're a complete hypocrite.

I thought you were

gonna make me happy.

I never promised you that.

That's up to you.

I just gave you seven wishes

for one measly little soul.

I'm only doing me job.

Your job?

Making people miserable?

No! Giving them the chance

to be happy. It's God's idea.

Don't confuse me with religion.

You see, his theory...

and I'm not knocking it...

is that in order for people

to be really good...

they have to make a free choice between

good and evil and choose good.

Look.

I'm a vital part of his plan.

I provide the evil.

Wasps!

Wasps! Wasps!

Oh, you rotten,

nasty-minded troublemaker.

Ohh!

Those nice, gentle flower people

grooving along quietly...

and you had to mess it up.

You could do something about it.

How?

Why don't you give them

one of your wishes?

Well, because they're mine, and

I've only got five of 'em left.

Not falling for any more of your

tricks, thank you very much.

Well, just as you like.

Let's go. More work to be done.

What a dreary thing to do.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

It was pride that got me into this.

I used to be an angel,

you know, up in heaven.

- Oh, yeah. You used to be

God's favorite, didn't you?

- That's right.

"I Love Lucifer" it was, in those days.

What was it like in heaven?

Very nice, really.

We used to sit around

all day and adore him.

Believe me, he was adorable.

Just about the most adorable

thing you ever did see.

Well, what went wrong then?

I'll show you.

Here we are.

Give me a leg up, would you?

Now, then...

I'm God.

This is my throne, see.

All around me are the

cherubim, seraphim...

continually crying,"Holy,

holy, holy"...

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