Bedazzled Page #2

Synopsis: Elliot Richardson, a socially awkward IT worker, is given seven wishes to get the girl of his dreams when he meets up with a very seductive Satan. The catch: his soul. Some of his wishes include being a 7 foot basketball star, a wealthy, powerful man, and a sensitive caring guy. But, as could be expected, the Devil must put her own little twist on each his fantasies.
Genre: Comedy, Fantasy
Director(s): Harold Ramis
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 win & 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.0
Metacritic:
49
Rotten Tomatoes:
49%
PG-13
Year:
2000
93 min
Website
5,602 Views


Duh.

Now then, I just want

to talk business for a second.

Oh, I'm not into that.

I mean, I've never paid

for sex before.

Except this one time--

The lnternet. Couldn't help it.

You sign on, it's " sex, sex, sex."

I'm not a hooker.

I want to ask you a question.

How would you like to make

one simple decision...

...that'll change your life forever?

Okay, I'm glad Scientology

works for you, but--

Just listen.

What if I told you that

I have the cataclysmic power...

...to give you anything and everything

you've always dreamed of?

Who are you?

Promise not to tell anyone?

Okay.

Cross your heart and hope to die?

I'm the Devil.

Okay.

I think somebody's had

"tee many martoonis!"

I am the Devil. Satan, Lucifer,

Beelzebub. The Prince of Darkness.

Well, the Princess of Darkness,

anyway.

Here's my card.

Oh.

" The Devil." Yep.

That explains it.

Now I believe you.

Night-night.

You're a very skeptical person,

you know that?

How did--

How did you just-- And you--

Look. If you could just buy into this

"I'm the Devil" thing...

...it'll save us a lot

of these questions.

Maybe I should call you a cab.

It'll be hard to find one

going to Hell this time of night.

Oh! What a delightfully piquant wit.

I can see we're gonna

get along famously.

Cheers, darling.

Are you-- You can't--

Look at-- Jeez!

You can't do that.

That's very dangerous!

Why is this so hard

for you to believe?

You think your parents just

made me up so you'd be good?

Okay, okay. You're the Devil.

What do you want with me?

I want you to be happy, Elliot.

You have such potential.

You need a push

in the right direction.

I am happy!

Oh, please!

You don't have to lie to me.

I know every dark thought

in your tiny little mind.

Every night you go to

your horrible little apartment...

...you eat your little frozen dinner,

make your popcorn...

...and watch TV until you can't keep

your eyes open anymore.

And then you crawl off to bed...

...and wonder why you're alone

and nobody likes you.

Not every night.

And you cry.

Yeah, sure!

I know what's in your heart, Elliot.

You could cry right now.

I'm talking about reinvention,

taking control of your destiny.

You want to be liked?

You want to be loved?

How about respected?

How about feared?

What exactly are we talking about?

You want to see how it works, baby?

Wish for something.

-Like what?

-Whatever you want, it's yours.

Just say the word.

Okay...

...I wish I had a Big Mac

and a large Coke.

It is done.

Hi, what can I get you?

A Big Mac and a large Coke.

Fries?

No.

Comes to $3.47.

Do you have $3.47?

I left my purse in the underworld.

Oh, yes! This truly is

the work of the Devil!

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Larry Gelbart

Larry Simon Gelbart (February 25, 1928 – September 11, 2009) was an American television writer, playwright, screenwriter, director and author, most famous as a creator and producer of the television series M*A*S*H, and as co-writer of Broadway musicals City of Angels and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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