Beautiful Page #3

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It's always Miss Texas.

I've been looking for work.

I'm just overqualified.

Stand up.

Everywhere I go, they say--

That's the second year in a row

a dancer's won.

It's statistically proven.

Singing and dancing and having

a platform to do with children...

and getting choked up

during the interview.

It's the only way to go.

- May I, please?

- Mona, what are you doing?

- You need a new look.

- A new look? I like my hair.

Come on, Laura Ingalls.

It's so over.

Look.

So what do you think?

I think you need

to learn to dance and sing.

Inside, and one, two...

back, three, four...

and five, six, seven, eight.

And one and two...

and three, drop, four...

over, five, six...

seven, eight.

Baby, come here.

You can invite Martin in.

He doesn't have to wait outside.

That's not Martin. That's Joey.

- What happened to Martin?

- He got on my nerves.

They sure come and go quickly.

Hurry. Let's fit this

so Joey can drive me home.

Are you all right?

Must be nerves.

Yeah, must be.

You got everything?

We got interview, evening...

bathing suit and

your outfit for talent.

Do you want some crackers

for the bus?

Animals love me.

Jo Jo, I thought you were doing

an interpretative jazz routine...

to "Yankee Doodle Dandy."

"Bicycle Built For Two"

while I'm twirling my fire baton.

I'm twirling a fire baton while I do

an interpretative jazz routine...

to "Bicycle Built For Two,"

and you knew that.

I told you that at registration.

What a shame.

Thank goodness I'm going first.

Ladies and gentlemen,

our first contestant...

in the Miss Naperville County

beauty pageant...

Jo Jo Oberschmidt.

Good, good, good luck to you.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

It's hot.

I like this one.

I'm so glad I could be here

to help, you know?

This could have been

an absolute tragedy.

It could.

Oh, my goodness.

This is an outrage.

Grab her.

You remember Alexandra Valente?

You remember Alexandra Valente?

When she tripped up Princess O'Mahoney,

nobody said anything.

And her nose has never

been the same since.

She works at Rite-Aid now.

The one on Pratt Street?

Can you help?

They say it's the fourth scandal

I've been involved in.

Give me a handle.

They never proved anything.

Everything will be all right.

I can't compete

in the county anymore.

We'll move to a different county.

It's gonna be fine.

- Even if we move, I can't.

- You can. We'll figure it out.

- We won't.

- We will.

I'm pregnant.

You should have a flaming act too.

That would do it, dear.

It's not gonna be fine.

Rule number five in the handbook.

Mothers and legal guardians

are ineligible.

You know, I needed to win tonight.

I needed the money.

I needed it.

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