Beautiful & Twisted Page #2

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I don't even get allowance.

Okay, I will bet you

my detective comic book number 27.

A comic book?

It's Batman's first appearance.

There's less than 100 in the world.

It's worth about $1 million.

But what do I get if you lose?

You get my mom. That's prize enough.

Deal.

- Mama.

- Benny.

You look so handsome.

Almost respectable.

Mom, this is Narcy.

Hi.

You must be May.

Benny told me you were a pretty girl,

but he was grossly understating the facts.

I'm Narcy.

He doesn't like strangers. Go, Bubbe.

Narcy. That's an interesting name.

It's short for Narcisa.

Narcisa. The dancer.

Lovely. Come in.

This place is huge!

You have a very lovely home, Mrs. Novack.

Yes, let me take you on a tour.

You keep the old lady busy. I'll hit the silver.

Dolores, we'll be ready for dinner

in a few minutes

Six years curating

for the Museo De Arte De Barcelona.

I'm fluent in five languages. Come, sweetie.

Why do you have all these pictures?

Well, that used to belong to us

until Benny's father passed.

Come, you see that grand piano there?

That was a gift from Frank Sinatra.

What happened with your mom?

She's slow to warm up,

and one day,

she's gonna love you as much as I do.

Come on, you two, have a look at the pool.

There's a waterfall.

We can make it short

if you're paying by the hour.

- Narcy, open the door.

- No!

- What is she saying?

- She called Bernice a b*tch.

All right, if you don't open the door,

I'm breaking it down.

It's a hollow-core fiberboard door.

I can bust it with my pinky.

- One.

- Did you see how that b*tch looked at me?

Where was Batman?

She's like your Kryptonite or something.

That's Superman.

Batman doesn't care about Kryptonite.

Two. Look, just open it up.

I have something very important

I want to tell you.

I don't want to talk to you.

All right, your landlord isn't gonna like this.

Three.

Narcy, will you marry me?

Or do I need to break my foot?

What did you say?

Will you marry me, Narcy?

Told you I'd win our bet.

John is already so hammered.

He had way too much champagne.

No, no. Thanks again.

I thought a Batman-themed

Bar Mitzvah was tacky,

but this really can't compare.

It was his idea.

Well, we were gonna have it at the strip club,

but that food is terrible.

Yeah, well, congratulations to you.

I hope you'll both be very happy

and have a good lawyer.

- But we do. They helped us with the pre-nup.

- Her idea.

Well, that's very romantic.

Will you just excuse me for one second?

Cheers.

All right, come on.

What are you drinking, shots? No?

Don Julio Blanco for me.

A virgin margarita for her.

We're gonna be a family.

I want you to come to me for anything.

Except history.

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