Bean Page #3
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1997
- 89 min
- 846 Views
VINCENT:
I'm sorry I'm late.
GARETH:
Why can't we just give him the boot for crying out loud?!
6
VINCENT:
Steady on, old man. I only ...
GARETH:
Not you, you idiot.
CUT TO:
INT. NATIONAL GALLERY. CORRIDOR - DAY
BEAN, with cup of tea, walks along a corridor. He can't not interfere
for tidiness sake. One empty room he switches off the light. Another
he shuts the door.
He passes a computer room, with an open door where a big man is busily
typing in a programme - BEAN looks at him snootily and heads on.
He approaches the door to his office. A sign reads: 'STORAGE &
CATALOGUE'. There is a huge padlock on the door. BEAN takes out a big
key and enters his domain.
CUT TO:
INT. NATIONAL GALLERY. STORAGE OFFICE - DAY.
BEAN enters. He's been here for years and made it his own. It's an
odd little world. There's a framed picture of Shirley Bassey on his
desk and Airfix planes hang from the ceiling. Also a large cosy
armchair and a T.V.
A pleasant Man in a suit, around 40, breezes in.
SUIT MAN:
Ah Bean, I'm looking for a painting by Van Hocht. Still Life. Circa
1670. Can do?
BEAN nods. This is what BEAN likes to do best. The camera follows as
he turns sees the extraordinary sight behind him...
His office is just a tiny corner of a massive storage room, hundreds of
feet high and long, the walls completely full of rack after rack of
stored paintings. At the end of the room, we can see hundreds of
sculptures:
busts, modern abstracts, men on horses, classical maidens,Rodins, the lot. It's like the giant storehouse at the end of 'Raiders
of the Lost Ark.
7
BEAN sets off into it in his own eccentric way. He knows exactly where
heels going. He climbs a ladder, like you find in a library - then
pushes himself off, and whizzes the entire length of the room on
slippery wooden runners.
He has now reached the sculpture area, but the painting heels looking
for is on the other side. He crosses the room by using the sculptures
as a kind of artistic obstacle course. In front of him is the Burghers
of Calais, a Rodin statue of 5 prisoners in chains. He simply walks
across their 5 heads, like stones in a stream.
He then comes to an abstract modern piece, which he uses as a slide and
at the end of which, he crawls through the hole in the next modern
thing. He then begins to climb up various famous ancient statues,
using the mouths as footholes, breasts as support, codpieces as steps
and empty eyes as finger holes.
After a problem getting his. foot caught in the jaw of a sculptured
dog, he walks flat along a modern sculpture, then uses a sequence of
classic sculptures as stairs - on the head of a little Degas ballerina,
one step on to the bottom of a horse, two steps onto the head of the
person riding the horse, three steps and now he's on the other side of
the hall.
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"Bean" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bean_695>.
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