Baywatch Page #3

your beef

and your biscuits

stuck down there.

It's gonna be okay.

I've been through it, too.

Not a big deal.

Really?

Yeah, absolutely.

I was stuck in a woman

for hours once.

Couldn't get out.

Totally the same, yeah?

It's the same thing.

Stuck junk

is stuck junk.

Stuck junk

is stuck junk. Okay.

All right, buddy,

we're gonna have to, uh,

flash-freeze your Johnson.

No, no, it's okay,

it's okay, I got it.

Look, it's okay.

- Oh, my god.

- Nope. Still stuck.

I mean, if you think

about it, it's

a good thing, right?

Congratulations.

Hey, uh, how

you feeling, sport?

Better,

but could we get

some sort of perimeter

going for the crowd?

Nah. Nobody's looking.

Just us.

God, you're lying.

That's a lot of people.

Mitch, I can't get

the swelling to go down.

All right.

We're going to have

to pull it out.

- Pull it?

- Yeah.

Just like pulling

a tooth.

What?

Don't you touch

my dick!

I'm okay.

Ronnie,

are you okay?

Yeah, no, I'm good.

I'm good.

I'm proud of you,

Ronnie.

F*** you, Dave.

You're my worst friend.

Captain, uh, I need to

talk to you about this...

Yeah, Mitch. Look,

you're just in time.

I want you to

watch something.

Check this out.

Matt Brody,

U.S. swimmer, sex symbol

and adrenaline junkie.

How do I define myself?

80% trill and 30% dope.

People think I'm crazy,

that I'm out of control.

How do you think

I got all this gold?

"Crazy

and out of control"

may have worked

for his individual events,

but when it came to the relay,

Brody blew it for the team.

Usa is in

the lead for the team relay

and Brody's in the water

to anchor.

Oh, my god!

Looks like he just

vomited in the pool.

After a night

of partying in rio

led to a streak of

bad luck in the pool,

Brody was dubbed

the "vomit comet."

How do you feel

about losing a medal

for your teammates?

There's no "i" in "team."

But there is a "me."

Are you dyslexic?

I'm Caucasian.

This is the guy you think

is a good PR opportunity

for us?

Wow. Right?

He's reckless,

he's insubordinate.

Come on.

Which is why

we can afford him.

Come on, Mitch.

The guy's only here

because

he took a plea deal.

A plea deal?

For what?

The specifics

aren't important.

What's important is that

we are his community service.

Come on. He's a train wreck.

With two gold medals.

How many gold medals

do you have?

Probably zero. Okay?

Brody is an American hero with

the face of a Swedish model.

You're losing me.

He's one of

the best swimmers

in the whole world.

There's more to this job

than just swimming.

You know that.

Yeah,

there's also politics.

Now, look, Mitch,

let's be honest.

We're staring into

the abyss here.

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