Batman Forever Page #3

It's his Achilles' heel.

It can be exploited.

BATMAN:
I know.

You called me for this?

The Batsignal is not a beeper.

I wish I could say that my interest

in you was...

...purely professional.

Are you trying to get under my cape?

[Chase snickers]

A girl can't live by psychoses alone.

It's the car, right? Chicks love it.

[Giggles]

What is it about the wrong kind of man?

In grade school:
guys with earrings.

College:
motorcycles, leather jackets.

Now...

[Chase moans]

...black rubber.

Try a fireman. Less to take off.

I don't mind the work.

Pity I can't see behind the mask.

BATMAN:
We all wear masks.

My life's an open book. You read?

I don't blend in at a family picnic.

CHASE:
We could give it a try. I'll bring

the wine...

...you bring your scarred psyche.

Direct, aren't you?

CHASE:
You like strong women.

I've done my homework.

Or do I need skintight vinyl and a whip?

I haven't had much luck with women.

Maybe you just haven't met

the right woman.

[Door opens]

[Footsteps]

I saw the signal.

COMMISSIONER:
What's going on?

BATMAN:
Nothing.

False alarm.

Are you sure?

[Dramatic instrumental music, background]

Women.

[Batmobile engine roars]

[Crackling]

[Edward gasps excitedly]

EDWARD:
Now I've got it!

Ha!

"Too many questions.

There's too many questions.

[Whiny voice] "Too many..."

[Sarcastic tittering]

I'll show you it works!

STICKLEY:
[Yells]

What the hell is going on here?

I told you this project is terminated!

I'm calling Security!

[Thud]

[Shouts] Caffeine will kill you!

[Ding]

EDWARD:
[Whispers]

Rise and shine, little guinea pig.

What are you doing?

Untie me!

EDWARD:
This won't hurt.

At least, I don't think it will.

STICKLEY:
What are you doing?

You touch that switch and...

This?

[High-pitched zoom]

[Sighs]

[Edward laughs softly]

[Electronic sound effects]

EDWARD:
Losing resolution.

More power!

[Zap]

[Stickley screams]

[Both scream]

[Voice vibrates]

[Hoots and hollers]

[Both speak gibberish extremely quickly]

[Sighs exaggeratedly]

[Shouts] Edward Nygma...

...come on down!

You're the next contestant on...

...Brain Drain!

[Imitates voices of talk-show host

and contestant]

I'll take what's inside

thick skull number one!

EDWARD:
What have we got for him?

[Goofy chuckling]

Oh, Stickley, I'm having a breakthrough!

And a breakdown? Maybe!

Nevertheless, I'm smarter. I'm a genius.

No, several geniuses.

A gaggle, a swarm...

...a flock of freaking Freuds!

Riddle me this, Fred.

EDWARD:
What is everything to someone...

... and nothing to everyone else?

[Shouts] Your mind, baby!

Now mine pumps with the power of yours!

[Sings]

"I'm sucking up your IQ

"Vacuuming your cortex

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