Barricade Page #2

Three of them, supposedly.

You guys pick the one you want.

- No fighting.

- Oldest picks first.

Okay, then I'll pick.

All right, we'll pick.

No fighting. I promise.

Excellent. I get the biggest bedroom

and my own bathroom...

...because I am, obviously, the mostest

awesomest dad on the planet.

Yeah? Right? Nothing? All right.

Stay with the tour.

Dining room.

Nice.

You brought your tuxedo, right?

A gentleman dresses for dinner.

And this is the kitchen.

Oh, man.

- What are we gonna eat?

- Oh, right.

The fridge is on the fritz.

Follow me.

- I'm not that hungry, Dad.

- Come on, you fraidycats.

Behold a treasure chest

of culinary delights.

A what?

For the master of the house,

of course, hot dogs.

For the lady, it looks like

every mini-pizza in North America.

What about you, Dad?

Mac and cheese.

You realize you're the only kids...

...that don't like mac and cheese, right?

It's weird.

- Tired, beaux?

- No way.

- Well, I am. Sorry, I'm bushed.

- Please, Dad.

- Come on.

- Dad.

But since we're in this

most excellent cabin...

...and we have all this excellent food,

including this weird ice cream...

...I say slumber party

in the family room.

Right? Come on.

Hey, don't touch those gifts

till I get there.

We must fight to regain our freedom

or everything is lost.

Everything!

Sweet dreams, love.

ls there a way to stop

from having nightmares, Mom?

Think funny thoughts

before you go to sleep.

I tried that and then I had a dream

about the killer clown guy with big feet.

- With the orange hair that was on fire?

- Yeah.

- I remember. That was not funny.

- No.

Can't you fix it

so I don't have nightmares any more?

Well, that is a tough one...

...but how about we fix it with a kiss

then see how that works?

- I love you.

- I love you too, Mom.

- Night, buddy.

- Night, Dad.

Can you fix it so I don't have

nightmares any more?

Sure, just let me put on

my Victoria's Secret tool belt.

Your what?

- What'd Dad break this time, Mom?

- Nothing.

And I am not the klutz

you all make me out to be.

Dad, you broke the hammer

trying to fix the toaster.

That was a very old hammer.

Daddy may not be Mr. Fix-It,

but he does pay for the tools.

Gee, thank you. Thanks, Mom.

Hey, Dad, it's snowing.

- You slept for too long, Daddy.

- I did?

Holy crap. What time is it?

Why didn't you wake me?

We tried.

What have you been doing

all this time?

Thanking God we have a TV.

Boy, it's really coming down

out there, huh?

Does that mean we can't go out?

No. It means Dad's glad

we have a TV too.

Aren't you, Dad?

I guess we better get out there

real quick...

...and make ourselves a snowman...

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