Barney's Version Page #4

Barney looks at O'Hearne. Marvelling at his idiocy.

BARNEY:

For someone who professes to hate meso much, you sure do go out of yourway to come around here a lot.

O'HEARNE

I just want to know what you didwith the body already.

BARNEY:

You really want to know? Fine. I

carved him up with a chainsaw, dumpedthe parts in the St. Lawrence river.

O'HEARNE

Chainsaw, my ass. You'd never havethe guts to cut him up. If you won'ttell me now, promise you'll at leastleave me a note in your will.

BARNEY:

C'mon O'Hearne, you're bound to gofirst. Look at you - prick you witha fork on a hot summer day and you'dexplode like a pan fried sausage.

O'HEARNE

This heart will still be pumpingstrong when your prostate turns tomarble, Panofsky.

WHITE 10-23-09 11.

JILL:

Why don't you just leave him alonealready?

O'HEARNE

Because he got away with murder,

sweetie.

(looking at Barney)

You screwed over everyone you everknew or cared about, and now thewhole world is going to know what acocksucking murderer you really are.

O'Hearne is right up in his face. INTENSE stare.

BARNEY:

Your breath stinks.

O'Hearne has to tear himself away before he tries to killBarney. He slides the book back over to him.

O'HEARNE

It's a real page turner.

O'Hearne marches out. Barney's eyes reluctantly drift tothe COVER PHOTO of the book.

INSERT - BLACK AND WHITE PHOTO CIRCA 1974, Barney with hisarm around his best friend BOOGIE.

FLASHBACK TO:

EXT. RESTAURANT - TRASTAVERE, ROME - NIGHT - PAST

TITLE:
ROME, 1974

Barney is out cavorting with his crew - over educatedcontemporaries living the bohemian life in Rome.

Barney's Algonquin Round Table.

Copious amounts of food and drink. Lively conversationsoverlap, as we move around a crowded table. Locals, ex-patsand plenty of girls. A few of Barney's standout friends being:

CEDRIC RICHARDSON, African American, actor, extremely handsome,

three fawning girls with him. LEO FASOLI, Italian beardedartist, his pants and t-shirt speckled with paint.

CEDRIC:

...I know that I can't just sit aroundand wait for something to happen.

(MORE)

WHITE 10-23-09 12.

CEDRIC (CONT'D)

So I call up the director and tellhim: "I've been offered Othello for

the third straight year and I'm notgoing to pass it up just to play thefucking Chuck Wagon cook again. Who

do I look like, Roscoe Lee Brown?

"But that's how it's written" he

answers. So I tell him - "Roberto,

the time has come for the black man

to hold a gun instead of a spatula".

BARNEY:

Amen!

CEDRIC:

And he had the role rewritten for

me. I am now posse member number 4.

LEO:

To Cedric, living the lessons of theBard: "be as great in act, as youhave in thought".

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