Barbershop 2: Back in Business Page #3

- It's her six-foot Pocahontas weave.

- That's what it is.

She ain't weavin' it up

like most of y'all in here.

Y'all just mad 'cause she got

a little Indian in her family.

Please. That girl got

perm in her family.

Why every time I come in here,

you start up with me?

You know I got love for you.

If you got that much love for me,

tell Janelle to give me my rent

before I turn off the power in here

and have all you ladies

runnin' out screaming.

Bye, Gina.

How come you not

playing with Coley?

You're just my baby.

Yes, he is.

Stop. Say grace first.

Jesus wept.

Why?

Why what?

Why did Jesus weep?

- 'Cause he was sad.

- Why was he sad?

'Cause they didn't let him

eat his biscuit.

Now, you know I helped

raise you better than that.

Raised you like you was

my own son.

Okay. I gotta go, Miss Emma.

When you get back here,

you better tell me why Jesus wept.

You know what?

He probably was mad

'cause they wouldn't let him put

jelly on his biscuit before he left.

I ain't seen you in two days.

And why you look so damn tired?

Ricky, just be a man

and let me know.

I'm being a man.

If you got somebody else,

then just say it.

You don't need to be slippin'

and slidin' and hidin'.

Nobody hidin'.

This ain't no subterfuge.

- I just been busy.

- Doin' what?

'Cause you sure ain't doin' me.

Who you doin'?

And what the hell

is a subter-fudge?

Listen, you know how it is,

all right?

When we together,

we together.

And when we not, we not.

That Ricky, he's the man.

Please. He's a clown.

Be like Mike,

not like Rick.

If I was like Mike,

would you like me?

- Brad Pitt.

- Mel Gibson.

- Bill Clinton.

- Bill Clinton?

He's a freak,

and I likes me a freaky man.

If I had to choose me

a white boy to sleep with,

- I'd have to say Mini-Me.

- Mini-Me?

Use your head.

- What?

- What?

Use your head.

You bad girl!

Excuse me, Miss Watson.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Dinka.

- Good morning.

- What's up, D?

Thank you, Dinka.

They look great.

- Beautiful shoes.

- Thank you, Dinka.

Damn a Mini-Me.

I'll take me one of those.

All I'm saying is we need

to keep our eye on Trent Lott.

We need to know where

his ass is at all times. He racist!

He's the poster child

for stupid white men.

I don't know about that.

Dan Quayle couldn't spell "potato. "

You know what?

You right about that, Checkers.

You know what?

You can be a stupid white man

and get elected president. Twice!

All I'm saying is

if you're gonna have oral relations

with an ugly, fat white girl

with low self-esteem, lock the door.

Lock the door! Click.

Handle your business.

There it is.

Calvin, come look.

They're gonna lock your ass up

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