Bam Margera Presents: Where The #$&% Is Santa? Page #2

---

She calls this

"moving up in the world"?

Yo, Seth, where's that gift box?

NOVAK:
You got me a gift?

BAM:
Yeah.

Is this a real gift

or is this one of these charades?

You'll see.

Yeah.

BAM:
Let's get you in this thing.

- What are you...? No.

- My picture. No.

HANNA:
It'll go in with you.

NOVAK:

I know. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I can't fit in here.

BAM:
We'll make you fit.

NOVAK:

You're messing my Louis Vuittons up.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Get me out. I want out.

HANNA:
Oh, sh*t. Grab him.

Grab him, grab him!

JESSE:

Look. Look at his ass crack.

HANNA:

Come on.

- Don't go.

FRANTZ:
Come on. Novak.

- It's Christmas.

- Yeah, shove it up your ass.

BAM:

It's just falling apart.

Don't hit the Hummer, dude.

Look at that thing.

[WINDOW SHATTERS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

BAM:

Oh! Look at that thing.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

I bet you he's going to another bar.

If we just comb West Chester,

we'll be good to go.

- I'll make phone calls too.

- All right.

- Let's do it.

- Let's go.

- He's at another bar.

HANNA:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

BAM:

Which one are we doing?

I don't know.

Which one looks Christmas-y, Fanna?

What's the Christmas-iest tree?

BAM:

That one? That looks good.

HANNA:
Nice.

BAM:
Or that one?

- Yeah.

BAM:
Oh, my God.

The big...? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why not?

We need to lug it to Duffers somehow.

- Possible?

- We can do that.

- We can do it? Sweet.

- Yup.

Well, let's get cutting.

[CHAIN SAW BUZZING]

There's nothing good

that can come out of this.

Merry Christmas.

Whoa!

Oh, sh*t.

[BAM YELLS]

[BAM CRYING]

HANNA:

Aww. You all right?

Santa'd be proud.

That's why I'm gonna find his ass.

HANNA:

Yeah.

We are officially rocking and rolling.

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

We just broke into Novak's car,

pushed it in neutral to this open spot.

He's still in there drinking

and has no clue what's going on right now.

Oh, yes.

Where is that scumbag?

NOVAK:

Ow!

[CROWD YELLS]

BAM:

You think you can run from us?

Well, you can't.

BAM [SINGING]:
Five zany bars

Four dirty needles

Three smokes left

Two bags of bug

And I lost Bam's brand-new watch

- Let's go. What's up, Kerry?

- Ow, man.

- When did you get into town?

GETZ:
Just tonight.

BAM:
Why are you with this scumbag?

NOVAK:
While you talk to Kerry...

...I got hot sauce burning my eye.

- Why are you with Kerry?

- He's my friend.

- He's normal.

He doesn't bang me in the head

with things like that.

Come check out your car.

We did something to it.

Is it...? Did you fix it?

Merry Christmas, bub.

NOVAK:
Don't tell me what I think

will happen will happen.

BAM:

Hector, get them. Yeah.

Hector, I'll send you back to Mexico

if you drop that.

BAM & HANNA:

Here we go.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes