Bad News Bears

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call me at midnight wondering

why he's so pissed off.

- Ray, you got a minute...?

- I want to say to them, "I'm not

your babysitter. I'm your coach."

Oh, yeah.

Mr. Bill Deaver.

Hey, just checking in.

Just checking in. Listen, Ray,

I wanted to see

if maybe Jake could get a little

more playing time this season.

He's been working hard.

It would really mean a lot to him.

Yeah, sure.

- Why not?

- Really? Well, great.

Thanks a lot, Ray.

Guys.

You know, I spoke to your boy.

You know what he said to me?

- What?

- He said all that matters to him

is that we win.

Even if it means giving up

a little game time.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I was really touched by this.

He's a hell of a team player.

Thanks, Ray. I appreciate it.

That's the kind of

horseshit I'm talking about.

- Exactly.

- Unbelievable.

Hey, Buttermaker, you made it.

And you brought...

Oh, this is my friend Paradise.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Hey, Buttermaker, you gotta get

your uniform orders in.

- Uniforms?

- Yeah.

All the good colors are taken:

Black and white, red and white,

blue and white, white and blue,

white and black,

white and red. They're all gone.

What uniforms?

"Mchte ich nicht" sweet and sour,

okay? No sweet and sour.

Just Cointreau, Patr?n,

lime juice and superfine salt.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Listen, Whitewood, what's the deal

- with the uniforms?

- What about them?

I didn't... What's-her-name said

that I gotta have uniforms.

Hey, buddy, give me a beer

and a C&C.

Buttermaker, you don't actually buy

them. You just need a sponsor.

You're the coach, it's your job.

Okay, so not only do I have to

coach the bronze medalists

for the Special Olympics, but I gotta be

an Amway salesman too, is that it?

Buttermaker, don't turn this

into high drama.

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