Bad Moms Page #2
Do you understand
how hard it is
to get into
I mean,
they turn away Asians.
That's a little
racist, but...
Oh, my God! I need to
practice my footwork.
Why'd you let me
eat dessert?
Oh, I know,
because you hate me!
Holy sh*t.
Hey, babe. It's late.
I'm going to bed.
No.
(GASPS) Oh, my God,
are you...
No, no, no, I was just checking
my prostate. (KEYS CLACKING)
You know, I've always wondered
what kind of porn you like.
Why won't this
f***ing window close?
(GASPS)
Oh, my God,
that's a giant bush!
Uh, who the hell
are you?
I'm his wife.
Oh, sh*t.
Are you masturbating
online with some chick?
No, no!
Well, then,
what are you doing?
(STAMMERING) Uh, um... I
was clicking and then I...
So then I was...
Yes, okay, I was masturbating
online with some chick.
What the f***!
Why are you doing that?
Hold on a second. I don't think
I've done anything wrong.
This is totally
mainstream now.
Hi, I'm Sharon.
I don't know,
I don't know, Mike.
This really
feels like cheating.
No, no, no, no, no, this is
definitely not cheating, honey.
I've never even
touched her.
Her giant bush
is 2,000 miles away.
But how long have
you been doing this?
Oh, I don't know.
Not long.
Ten months next Friday.
(MOUTHING)
What the f***?
Ten months?
Do you have
feelings for her?
(EXHALES)
You don't masturbate online
with someone for 10 months
without developing
some feelings.
I mean, I'm not
a monster.
Do you have
feelings for her, Mike?
Yes! Okay? I have feelings for her!
God!
(MIKE SIGHS)
She's actually
You know, she runs
her own dairy farm,
she's developing
an app.
Get out!
What?
Get the f***
out of my house.
So uncool.
(DOOR CLOSES)
SHARON:
You know, Amy,I just feel like
Mike is feeling
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
Okay, so your dad had to go
outta town on a business trip,
so I'm gonna try to do
everything myself today,
which should be fine,
as long as everybody does
what they are supposed to do.
Right?
(WHINING)
Oh, no.
Why is Roscoe
walking like that?
He's fine.
He's totally fine.
(GASPS) Oh, no, buddy!
(CAMERA CLICKS)
(CAR DOOR SHUTS)
Lookin' good, Jeff.
Oh.
Thanks. Yeah, you
been workin' out?
No, not for
like 10 years.
Your beige windbreaker is
really lightin' up my board.
Oh, uh, thanks.
Do you know what I mean?
My vagina.
(SIGHS)
Bye. Jeff!
Emergency PTA meeting tonight.
Tell all your friends.
STACY:
(GASPS)Oh, God.
There goes that little weird
stay-at-home mom.
Emergency PTA meeting tonight.
Tell all your friends.
Oh, I don't have
any friends.
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