Bad Kids of Crestview Academy Page #2

And after that party

you threw,

detention is the least

you could do.

I wasn't even there.

The least you could do.

Yes, mother.

If you had any real influence,

I wouldn't need to be here.

Baby, you can't go pushing

silly white girls

into swimming pools

for no reason.

Jesus, daddy,

who's really white these days?

Someone died, faith.

And we do not take

the lord's name in vain.

Look at it this way,

after today,

we can put this goddamn thing behind us.

Christ, mom, adjust your meds.

Oh, Max,

children are a vocation,

yet you act

like it's a miracle

that they don't kill

each other.

Phones, please.

Thank you.

No candy crushing

during detention hours.

Ah, that ratchet b*tch.

Cute.

Good god.

This thing just got

a lot more interesting.

How wonderful,

you're all friends.

Shall we?

Phone, please.

Thank you. Thank you.

Now,

to prevent any new incidents from occurring,

every special door has

a pass code instead of a lock.

If the power goes out,

the doors

will automatically unlock.

So, this will be safe

yet fun for us all.

Max?

Max?

Code's not working.

Code's not working?

Awesome. Detention cancelled.

Sweet!

No, no. Why don't you guys

take this restroom opportunity

while we fix

this tiny little issue.

It should only be a moment,

I'm sure. Right, Max?

I don't know.

I hear bad things.

Right.

Well, off you go.

Come on, come on.

Ah, yeah,

kill the f***ing pope!

Yo, yo, yo, bw.

Come on, come on, free sample.

Your sister loved it!

Did I see on Twitter

your father's been looking

at houses in Washington?

That's right,

he'll be a spiritual advisor to the nation

if senator wilkes

gets the nomination.

When she gets the nomination.

And my mother...

Will receive

what droppeth from heaven.

Courtesy of Attila the hun.

You know nothing.

Sure about that,

ho chi minnie mouse?

B*tch.

Well, I'll give you

girls a moment alone.

What does she know?

All I know

is her sh*t stinks.

Undercrust.

My sister and those kids...

You would think

that single day

should've filled the school's

"that's trucking horrible"

quota for...

Well, forever, but...

Then, last week,

with your sister...

Were you friends with her?

Not to

hang out with her.

I'm glad I wasn't there

when it happened.

Were you even at your party?

I didn't see you there.

Got to stay squeaky clean

for mom's latest campaign.

Mmm. Good idea.

We were talking about Alyson.

Oh, god.

Shouldn't have gotten

so drunk.

Or gotten so off the roof.

F*** you.

Hey, I'm not the one

she pushed into a pool.

You saw that?

Um, the entire senior

class saw that.

Oh, uh, time for another...

Hey, come on!

Tell me what happened,

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