Back to School

Synopsis: Millionaire businessman Thornton Melon is upset when his son Jason announces that he is not sure about going to college. Thornton insists that college is the best thing he never had for himself, and to prove his point, he agrees to enroll in school along with his son. Thornton is a big hit on campus: always throwing the biggest parties, knowing all the right people, but is this the way to pass college?
Genre: Comedy, Romance, Sport
Director(s): Alan Metter
Production: HBO Video
  1 win & 2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
96 min

OK, Jason.

Take care of yourself.

I love you.

Yeah, I love you, too.

All right. Bye-bye.

Melon, I told you

to clean my locker.

If it's too much for you...

we'll get ourselves

a new towel boy.

Right. Look, I'm sorry, Chas.

I'll get on it as soon as I can.

Home sweet home.

- I liked the old house better.

- So did I.

I liked the old wife

better, too.

Lay off Vanessa.

She gives great headache.

Lou, I can't believe it.

Married five years.

Seems like yesterday.

And you know what a lousy day

yesterday was.

Please don't throw your clothes

on the Breuer chair.

How come all our furniture

has names?

I have absolutely

nothing to wear.

You got six closets

full of nothing to wear.

Are you saying

I spend too much money?

You, spend too much money? No.

Lots of people go to Switzerland

to get their watch fixed.

You have no taste, Thornton.

You're right.

I married you, didn't I?

I don't have time to argue.

Our friends will be here

any minute.

You mean your friends.

They are my friends,

and I'd like to keep them.

So please,

just behave yourself tonight.

Don't worry. If the roast beef

is right, they'll be back.

Jennifer, you look divine.

And, Peter, I thought

you were still in Portofino.

Why haven't you called?

- She's a lovely gal.

- Oh, yes, she is.

Oh, Ramon,

you look fantastic.

I thought you were still

in Tijuana.

- Excuse me, seor?

- Nothing. It's all right.

- Gimme a beer.

- I'm sorry, seor.

All we have is martinis

and champagne.

My own house,

I can't get a beer.

Mrs. Melon gave us

strict orders... no cerveza.

It's all right.

I'll get it myself.

Hey! Adam and evil.

Mr. Melon.

We was just...

Iooking for some

cocktail napkins.

Where? Under her dress?

You're impossible.

And you're easy.

Rate this script:(4.00 / 2 votes)

Steven Kampmann

Steven Kampmann (born May 31, 1947) is an American actor, writer, and director. He was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He is best known for his role as Kirk Devane on the first two seasons of Newhart. Kampmann also had roles in The Rodney Dangerfield Show: It's Not Easy Bein' Me, L.A. Law, The Richest Cat in the World, Multiplicity, and Analyze That. Additionally, he was a writer for WKRP in Cincinnati. In 1981, he was nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Comedy Series for his work on WKRP in Cincinnati. His screenplay credits include Back to School, The Couch Trip and Stealing Home. In 2008, Kampmann wrote and directed BuzzKill, a film about a struggling writer who becomes famous when a serial killer steals his car and the newest draft of his script. Kampmann is married to actress Judith Kahan and they have four children, Christopher, Robert, William, and Michael. more…

All Steven Kampmann scripts | Steven Kampmann Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Back to School" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 13 May 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Back to School

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.