Back to School Page #2

Synopsis: Millionaire businessman Thornton Melon is upset when his son Jason announces that he is not sure about going to college. Thornton insists that college is the best thing he never had for himself, and to prove his point, he agrees to enroll in school along with his son. Thornton is a big hit on campus: always throwing the biggest parties, knowing all the right people, but is this the way to pass college?
Genre: Comedy, Romance, Sport
Director(s): Alan Metter
Production: HBO Video
  1 win & 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.6
Metacritic:
68
Rotten Tomatoes:
85%
PG-13
Year:
1986
96 min
1,074 Views


I love Klimt, don't you?

Mr. Melon, your wife

was just showing us her Klimt.

You too, huh? She's showin' it

to everybody.

- She's very proud of it.

- I'm proud of mine, too.

I don't wave it around

at parties.

- It's an exceptional painting.

- Oh, the painting.

Yeah. Drink up,

enjoy yourself, huh?

I hate small food, you know?

Hey, buddy,

come here, will you?

Put your hand

right over there, will you?

I learned this in Europe.

Look out, coming through.

Hot stuff. Look out.

I'd like you to meet

Mr. And Mrs. Stuyvesant.

Right, right.

- How do you do?

- Thornton!

How you doin'?

Hi there, sir. How are you?

Never mind. I got my own here.

It's all right.

Millicent, you look charming.

I love your dress.

Don't you, Thornton?

It's such a lovely shade

of green.

Yeah. If that dress had pockets,

you'd look like a pool table.

You should try

my Tall and Fat stores.

No offense.

May I speak to you

privately, please?

Watch my sandwich, will you?

I can't take any more of this!

You've insulted our friends,

you've insulted me...

and you've gone out of your way

to ruin this party.

Party? Are you kiddin'?

It's a dog show out there.

Your friends, they come here

for free food, free booze...

and to suck up to you

for donations.

You have no class, Thornton,

and I am tired of it.

I want a divorce.

Divorce. I knew

we had something in common.

Here, sign these.

I'm afraid it's not gonna be

that easy, honey.

This is gonna cost you...

plenty!

Oh, yeah?

Let's talk about class

a minute, all right?

Here's you and Giorgio

in the guest room.

Classy, isn't it?

Here's you and Giorgio

in the rumpus room.

Another classy one, huh?

This one I can't figure out.

There's you, there's Giorgio...

what's with the midget

over here?

Hey, wait! I got more!

What happened in there?

What happened?

I got rid of Vanessa.

I feel like I just got paroled.

I'll tell you what bothers me...

I let her come

between me and Jason.

Lou, pack our bags.

We're going up to that college

to see my son!

Boy, will Jason be surprised.

Look, there's Greek letters.

That must be the house.

Is that an "amigo"

or a unicorn?

Beats me.

Don't you know any Greek?

The only Greek I know owns

a coffee shop on State Street.

Jimmy Pitsos, remember him?

He had an ugly wife...

four ugly kids,

and good coffee.

Wait here, I'll try this one.

Hello, hello!

Anybody here?

Jason, where are you?

Hey, I need some help here!

Buddy, I'm talking to you.

I need some help here!

Take it easy, honey!

I didn't see a thing.

You're perfect.

You jerk!

Perfectly understandable,

Mr. Melon.

It was an honest mistake.

Let's just call it a bad day.

Yeah, but a great view.

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes

Steven Kampmann

Steven Kampmann (born May 31, 1947) is an American actor, writer, and director. He was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He is best known for his role as Kirk Devane on the first two seasons of Newhart. Kampmann also had roles in The Rodney Dangerfield Show: It's Not Easy Bein' Me, L.A. Law, The Richest Cat in the World, Multiplicity, and Analyze That. Additionally, he was a writer for WKRP in Cincinnati. In 1981, he was nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Comedy Series for his work on WKRP in Cincinnati. His screenplay credits include Back to School, The Couch Trip and Stealing Home. In 2008, Kampmann wrote and directed BuzzKill, a film about a struggling writer who becomes famous when a serial killer steals his car and the newest draft of his script. Kampmann is married to actress Judith Kahan and they have four children, Christopher, Robert, William, and Michael. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Back to School" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/back_to_school_3414>.

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