At Middleton Page #3

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It's not small.

It's intimate is what it is.

God, these things are like

a dog and pony show.

They give your child

no idea whatsoever

what it would be like

to actually go here.

It's just a day.

Books are like the magazines

of the gods. Am I right?

Sometimes a day can be an eternity.

Particularly if you're

in the company of a man

who backs into a parking space.

It's a good place to come and study.

There's actually a floor upstairs

that you're required to be quiet.

These tours are like a first date.

She's smart. She's pretty.

She smells good.

Maybe you'll try to stick

your hand up her shirt.

Shh!

My favorite is

"Cat Fancy" and "Dog Fancy,"

"House and Garden,"

"Botanist's Weekly,"

"Architectural Digest"...

a whole array of stuff.

A lot of good magazines here.

I'm just always trying to keep up.

Now, this is pretty exciting...

currently we have on loan

from the British Library

a manuscript from renowned poet

and author Charles Dodgson.

Now, Dodgson didn't write

under his real name.

Lewis Carroll.

Very good. Very nice.

Um, Carroll's masterwork

"Alice's Adventures

in Wonderland"...

that's gonna be here till the end

of the month, so we're very excited.

Excuse me.

I find it extraordinary

that Lewis Carroll's

masterwork would be available

to such a small college.

I think it's incredible. I do.

But, you know, a lot of really

cool stuff happens here.

Um, this past weekend

Snatches of Pink played a

free concert on the quad.

- Justin.

- Hmm?

On a scale of one to 10,

could you rate the effect

on your life respectively

of the visiting manuscript

versus the Snatches

of Pink concert?

The Snatches were tight.

The Snatches were tight, George.

- So let's...

- Tight.

Hey, let's float on over

to this residence hall.

- Ooh, speaking of floating...

- I know what that means.

Just up the stairs and, ironically,

it's just past the Ps.

All righty, so come on.

This dorm we're gonna go see...

it's actually named after

the fourth of Middleton's

seven illegitimate children.

- Osborne.

- You're killing it.

You're on fire.

- She's the one to beat, you guys.

- Uh-oh.

Seven children

from seven women...

hey, Middleton was no Moby Dick.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- I am on fire right now.

- This woman's driving me crazy...

completely loony.

You look very handsome.

A little pinch in there

and we'll be all set.

What do you think of it so far?

- Of what?

- Middleton.

It's small.

It's not small. It's intimate.

Why are you cramming this

place down my throat?

Who's cramming?

Can't you just let me

figure it out myself?

How are you gonna figure it out

with this kind of feckless approach?

- Feckless?

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