At Middleton

---

- A fun fact about the walkway

we're currently on...

it was built by a thousand

children in 1842.

What a waste of a

perfectly beautiful tie.

- Tell me about it.

- I'm just kidding. Just 100...

Lovely day. Let's go over here.

Come on in. Come on in.

Don't be shy.

It's just me.

Now, the college,

which is situated on

just over 100 breathtaking acres,

was founded in 1887 by

Lowndes Pope Middleton,

who as a young man made a

fortune in whale blubber

before finding his true calling

in education and philanthropy.

Now, his bronze likeness once

stood upon this pedestal,

but fell prey to some

bandits in the late 1960s.

Why didn't they replace him?

Well, you know, these

boots have sort of become

a living metaphor for the

mission of Middleton.

Have you had any deaths on campus?

You'd be surprised. There

are a lot of deaths.

I'm just kidding. There's... no.

Very, very safe here.

We have a security team of students.

They're volunteers.

They're constantly patrolling.

We give them small nightsticks.

And they make sure everybody

sort of stays in order.

It's a good system.

I see the toe of the

boot is fairly worn out.

Is that a tradition...

to rub the toes there?

It is. It is. Thank

you for bringing that up.

Before an important day

or test or something,

you're supposed to kiss the boot.

- Any rapes?

- Oh, my God.

A lot of rapes. But that's

typical at college, you know.

That's what you're getting into.

Yeah. So it's a

fantastic tradition.

- I need a coffee.

- You had two cups in the car.

- Do you want one? Can I get you one?

- No.

Cool. Any more questions?

Love questions.

They're not even gonna

notice I'm gone, okay?

- Excuse me.

- Our next stop on the tour

is gonna be the Pope Library.

Now this thing is brand-spanking-new,

Rate this script:(1.50 / 2 votes)