As Good as It Gets
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1997
- 139 min
- 1,371 Views
FADE IN:
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT
ANGLE ON apartment doorway. As it opens and an
enormously SWEET-FACED, ELDER WOMAN steps out, bungled up
against the cold -- turning back to call inside to the
unseen love of her long life.
SWEET-FACED WOMAN
I'm just going to get some
flowers, dear. I'll be back in
twenty minutes. It's tulip season
today. I'm so happy.
And now she turns and faces the hallway... her sweetness
dissolves in a flash... replaced by repulsion and that
quickly she has reversed herself and re-entered her
apartment... closing the door as we consider her vacated.
POV - MELVIN UDALL
in the hallway... Well past 50... unliked, unloved,
unsettling. A huge pain in the ass to everyone he's ever
met. Right now all his considerable talent and strength
is totally focused on seducing a tiny dog into the
elevator door he holds open.
MELVIN:
Come here, sweetheart... come on.
ON DOG:
Sniffing at a particular spot on the hall carpeting.
Melvin lets the elevator door close and advances on the
mutt who has ignores him.
MELVIN:
Wanna go for a ride? Okay,
sweetie?
The dog lifts his leg at the precise moment Melvin lunges
and picks him up with a decisive heft -- so that dog
urine squirts the hall wall for a second or two. The DOG
sensing a kindred spirit starts to GROWL and BARK.
MELVIN:
(a malevolent tone)
You've pissed your last floor, you
dog-eared monkey.
The dog takes a snap at Melvin, but the man is much
meaner and quicker than the dog -- he holds his snout
shut with his hand and reaches for the door of the
garbage chute.
MELVIN:
I'll bet you wish you were some
sort of real dog now, huh? Don't
worry... this is New York. If you
can make it here, you can make it
anywhere, you know? You ugly,
smelly f***.
And with that, he stuffs him in the garbage chute and
lets go. We hear a FADING SERIES of PLEADING "ANOOOOS"
from the DOG fade to nothingness... as another apartment
door opens emitting the loud sounds of a PARTY and SIMON
NYE, early 30s. Simon has been born and raised with
Gothic horror and it's strange that what that stew of
trauma has produced is a gifted, decent man.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT
Frantic... he bolts into the hall... Melvin is just about
to enter his apartment.
SIMON:
Verdell!?!! Here, good doggie...
He notices Melvin at the far end of the hall.
SIMON:
Mr. Udall... excuse me. Hey
there!
(as Melvin turns)
Have you seen Verdell?
MELVIN:
What's he look like?
Melvin starts to walk back to his apartment door which is
directly opposite Simon's.
SIMON:
My dog... you know... I mean my
little dog with the adorable
face... Don't you know what my dog
looks like?
MELVIN:
I got it. You're talking about
your dog. I thought that was the
name of the colored man I've been
seeing in the hall.
Simon looks O.S. -- and sees his black friend.
SIMON:
Which color was that?
MELVIN:
Like thick molasses, with one of
smelling trouble and prison
food...
Simon has had it.
SIMON:
MELVIN:
(not missing a beat)
How're you doing?
SIMON:
Franks shows my work, Mr. Udall. I
think you know that.
FRANK:
(overlapping)
Simon, you've got to get dressed.
MELVIN:
(to Simon)
What I know is that as long as you
keep your work zipped up around
me, I don't give a f*** what or
where you shove your show. Are we
being neighbors for now?
SIMON:
(to Frank)
exaggerating?
FRANK can only smile.
FRANK:
Definitely a package you don't
want to open or touch.
MELVIN:
Hope you find him. I love that
dog.
Simon, terminally non-confrontational, still finds
himself compelled to turn back toward Melvin.
SIMON:
(directly)
You don't love anything, Mr.
Udall.
Simon closes his door leaving Melvin alone in the
hallway.
MELVIN:
I love throwing your dog down the
garbage chute.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT, BATHROOM - NIGHT
Melvin locks and unlocks and locks his door, counting to
five with each lock. He turns the lights quickly on and
off and on five times and makes a straight-line towards
his bathroom where he turns on the hot water and opens
the medicine chest.
INT. MEDICINE CHEST
Scores of neatly stacked Neutrogena soaps. He unwraps
one -- begins to wash -- discards it -- goes through the
process two more times.
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT, ENTRANCE HALL - NIGHT
A group of PARTY GOERS enters -- followed by a HANDYMAN
holding Verdell who looks and finds:
SIMON:
who looks up -- lights up -- and tears up as he moves
quickly toward the group and his dog.
SIMON:
Thank the good Lord... wow... my
honey... where have you been?
PARTY GOER:
(thinking the greeting's
for him)
As Simon goes past him to take the dog from the
Handyman... JACKIE, Frank's junior partner, barking a
laugh at the Party Goer -- VERDELL BARKING some love. As
the others greet Simon, Jackie directs the group inside.
Jackie lingers, looking on affectionately as Simon picks
some awful, sticky gunk from the dog's body... he puts
Verdell down to reach for his wallet -- the tiny DOG YAPS
in protest.
SIMON:
Just for a second, okay?
The DOG YAPS "no." Simon, delighted, picks him up again.
SIMON:
(kissing him on the mouth)
Look at him... where was little
baby?
HANDYMAN:
(smiling)
In the basement garbage bin eating
diaper sh*t.
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"As Good as It Gets" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/as_good_as_it_gets_288>.
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