Arthur Newman Page #2

You mean...

you're no Tiger Woods.

Actually, Mike, I've won

quite a few prestigious

But to tell you the truth, life

on the road is wearing me

down, so I'm taking a gig.

Resident pro at a course in

Terre Haute, Indiana.

Were are you going, anyway?

I don't know.

Would you like a ride

to Terre Haute?

No, I wouldn't.

Where are the real hot dogs?

Um, we don't have

them anymore.

Just the tofu dogs.

How is that possible?

Not all of us want the

healthy alternative.

Look, Mike, tofu dogs.

Because I choose to be

health-conscious.

I got you a small token.

Thank you, Wallace.

I love alligators.

It's my pleasure.

What did you call me?

Wallace.

Wallace Avery, right?

I found it in the side pocket

of your golf bag.

The trunk was locked.

I locked it.

I used to work at Lock & Key.

I was really good.

You know, on second thought,

I think I will ride to Terre Haute with you.

Payments.

Yes, this is Ms. Mina Crawley.

Yes, I do know a Mr. Wallace

Avery, and you can tell him

that I took the bus to

work this morning.

Park what?

What are you saying to me?

Look, so you're phony.

What's the big deal?

One-way ticket to Durham,

North Carolina, please.

I saw it in your driver's license.

That's... that's not my...

look, I hate Durham!

Does the lady want

her ticket or not?

I reject the ticket!

Get your hands off me!

I reject the ticket!

I feel dizzy.

You're fine!

My hands are numb.

I got a sick man here.

Is anybody a doctor?

Wait, wait.

Hang on here, now.

He just started convulsing

or something.

Who can help him?

Someone's got to help him.

Uh, I...

I can't, um...

I don't know how

to... somebody!

Thanks for trying.

Who is he?

John Doe.

Can't find an ID on him.

Poor guy.

What a way to go.

Well, thanks for

trying, anyways.

What is wrong with you?

Poor John Doe, what a way to go,

poor John Doe.

It's not funny.

Oh, please don't make me get

on that bus, Wallace.

That was a very funny

joke, Wallace.

Getting lost on Talbot Island.

Ha ha ha.

Wallace?

You can come out now.

I can't sleep in my room.

What are you doing?

See my glasses?

I thought I left...

I thought I left them...

No.

His hands were all calloused.

Especially his left hand,

around the wedding ring.

How do you know that?

Because I held his hand.

By the way, that was very

kind of you, Mike.

Same guy.

Wallace Avery.

How's life treatin' you?

Keep the change.

Who are you?

I mean, really?

I guess I've always

been Arthur Newman.

Wife just forced another

individual on me.

Wallace Avery was

such a nothing?

Actually, Mike, Wallace Avery

was manager of a large,

multinational corporation.

What, like Blackwater

or evil empire...

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