April Fool's Day Page #2

- Cal!

- Get in the boat!

They did it! They did it!

What's going on?

Sam, what happened?

Tricks. Pranks.

Ask your friends.

- Is your dad around?

- No, he's in Sutton Place. Why?

- You haven't heard from him?

- No.

I need to borrow your boat

to get back to shore.

All the keys are in the kitchen,

but I think there's an extra one

under the cushion there.

Look, you people, stay put,

all of you.

If anything else happens,

I want to know

just where to find you.

Skip, it's not your fault.

It was an accident. You didn't know.

Sure.

Did you see his face?

Muffy. Nothing bad ever happens to her.

- There's a lot to be done here.

- You sound as if you own it.

I will, if all goes well.

Next month when I turn 21,

it's my first stage inheritance.

- First stage? What's your second?

- Texas.

You may be talking

to your future boss, Harve.

Nikki, burn my bags, baby!

I am home!

Oh, yeah!

I could get really used to this.

We spent all our summers here

before my mother died.

- It's very special to me.

- It's like a dream.

On a clear day,

you can see the Kennedys.

Wow!

You guys, look at this!

Oh, Muffers,

our very own place settings!

With our very own place cards

and here's our own little dolly!

- It's just like an Agatha Christie.

- And sporks!

- Sporks?

- And napkins with bunnies on them.

- Muffy, you spared no expense.

- How do you think Dad made money?

The old fashioned way.

He inherited it.

I used to have all her outfits.

Hold it! Don't anybody move!

But before this night is over,

somebody in this room...

...will pull his wang.

"My first experience was:

A) Painful and degrading;"

"B) Not so hot,

but I really cared about him;"

"C) I was ready to try again

or D)"

"Wildly exciting. I had an orgasm."

A and part of B.

A and B:
"Painful and degrading; not

so hot, but I really cared about him."

That's so sweet.

I'll take B.

"Not so hot, but I really cared

about him." Was it Rob?

- No, it wasn't Rob.

- What about you, Nikki?

A and D:
"Painful and degrading.

Wildly exciting. I had an orgasm."

Anyway, "The one thing I haven't tried

yet but am intensely curious about is:"

"A) Oral sex;"

"B) Anal entry;"

"C) S&M;

D) Group sex;"

"E) Lesbian sex;"

"or F) All of the above."

What was C?

Hi, my name is

Mary O'Toole O'Reilly O'Shea.

I want to go to convent school,

and things like that.

Welcome.

Welcome to my home

and "Lifestyles of the Rich

and Undeserving".

My name's Arch Cummings

and I'm on a mission here

to bed as many women

as humanly possible.

Nan's out, to be honest.

She likes the theatre...

You know what I'm saying.

She's out in the first round.

A poor boy can say,

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