Anything for Love

I'm, like, a guy nurse.

You flunk out of med school,

or what?

That's a good one.

You can laugh,

laugh all you want.

Women love it.

Oh, yeah, I'll bet.

"Daddy, I'd like you to

meet the man of my dreams,

nurse Cooper."

It might behoove you,

young man,

to remember

that I can make your stay here

like the four seasons,

or like the bates motel.

It's your choice.

Okay.

Little sensitive.

I tell you, it's almost better

to be an orderly sometimes.

I mean, no offense.

Oh, none taken.

I know my gig

is sweet.

No one expects you

to be something you're not.

Did you get a load

of your brother

from another mother?

Okay,

we may share the same last name,

but that is where it stops,

my friend.

And that is

tough luck for you.

Oh, man...

Look at him!

He's a total womanizer.

I know, and he's

got no hair

and a horrible case

of halitosis.

And they're still

lining up for him.

You know, it's

a known fact that doctors

are at the top of

the dating food chain.

You put an "m. D." At

the end of your name,

nothing else matters.

An "r. N?"

Not so much.

Dr. j. Thomas Cooper,

please report

to labor and delivery.

I mean,

what is with these women?

Why is it always about power,

prestige and money?

I mean, whatever

happened to love, man?

Love for who we are,

in our souls, as men?

Wow, yeah...

You need to forget

all about that.

You've got to work

with what you got.

Take me, for example.

I've got this awesome

physique, right?

And so, when I

meet a woman,

I tell her that

I'm a pro athlete.

Okay... I'm sorry.

Wait, and she believes you?

Yeah.

She believes me

because she wants to believe.

Yeah, and what happens

when she finds out

that you're not?

Well, I mean, it doesn't

really get that far.

They realize that

they hate my guts

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