Answers to Nothing

Do you want to hear

a romantic story?

It was World War ll.

He was young, 22, 23,

paratrooper,

tough son of a b*tch.

They were being dropped

somewhere over France.

His chute was damaged

by enemy fire,

and he lost control

and landed on the roof of a house

in the middle of the country.

I guess he got injured somehow,

I think from the hard landing

from the hole in his chute.

Anyway, the man

that lived in the house

had a beautiful young daughter

who nursed him back to health.

And after a few days,

he left to rejoin his unit,

but not before telling her

that he would be back for her.

Eight months later,

he returned...

and he's been with

my grandmother ever since.

Beautiful story, huh?

Romantic, right?

Yeah, romantic.

He said that he would be here.

I... I told him this morning.

Well, why don't you give him

a call again?

I'll handle another patient,

and I'm sure he'll be here

when I come back.

Oh, my God!

You're unfucking believable.

I'm gonna come so f***ing hard.

Oh, God!

F***!

Oh, my God, yeah!

Don't... Don't... Don't...

Don't swallow it.

Hmm? Don't swallow it.

No, don't... don't spit it out.

Spit it in here, baby.

You turn me on.

I gotta go.

Early this morning, local volunteers

gathered to work with police

in combing a huge area

down by the shipyards

for any signs of

But later in the day,

police once again

found themselves

reaching out to the public

for help in this unsettling case.

We believe the perpetrator snuck

into the bedroom window

and took her while

the family was asleep.

Detective,

one more question, please.

You've been questioning a neighbor

by the name of Roger Beckworth.

Is he a suspect?

No.

I already told you Mr. Beckworth

is merely a person of interest.

Now, that's all I have for you today.

All I ask is that if anybody

sees Christie Dillon

or knows anything

about her whereabouts,

to please contact 911

so we can get her back here

where she belongs,

at home with her family.

Thank you.

Detective, I just need to know...

is there any other suspect?

Frankie...

so you still want to keep two

black-and-whites in front of the house?

Yeah, and, uh...

keep the reporters

off the damn lawn, okay?

Right. Right.

All right, Barbara Walters,

that's enough.

Let's go. Off the lawn.

I got here as soon as I could.

I'm so sorry.

I got caught up with a new client.

I called your cell phone.

I know. The battery's dead.

I forgot to charge it.

Why are you crying?

You're 40 minutes late, Ryan!

I know. I...

I got stuck with a client. I...

I told you I'm sorry,

but I'm here now,

a-and we're here now.

You did it already?

In the car. In the parking lot.

In the parking lot?

Yeah.

You know I get nervous

in doctors' offices.

I just wanted to make sure

that I had a good sample.

Ah, Ryan, you made it.

Yes.

- And I see you have your sample already.

- I do.

Well, let's get started.

We're praying for you.

Thank you.

- You okay?

- Yeah, I'm good.

Good.

Well, that's good.

Still getting your weekly tests, right?

Good, 'cause your parents

aren't backing down.

They want him,

and they're gonna say that you're

not fit to care for him.

They want him in a home.

He doesn't want to go there.

Well, we've done

everything that we can

to establish that you're

a responsible caregiver,

so who... uh, who's

assigned to us for this?

Michael Ambrose.

He's fair.

He's gonna listen to us,

and that's really all that you

can ask for in a mediator.

I know it sounds really cold.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Why don't I come over to your place

the night before?

We'll prepare.

Okay...

I hate...

being obligated to talk to people

just because it's polite.

I hate...

people who say

that money doesn't matter,

because it does.

I hate laugh tracks.

I hate people who don't think

that there are two Americas.

I hate when you bite into an onion ring

and the onion comes out,

but then you're left with

this fried bread tube thing.

I hate how I always think that I have

a booger hanging out of my nose,

and I'm constantly trying

not to touch my nose so that...

I just... I always feel like

there's a booger that's there,

that's dangling there

when I'm talking to people, and...

I hate it.

I hate people who don't use pictures

of themselves on Facebook.

MIX:

DID YOU LOSE THIS DOG'?

Uh, sorry. I, um...

I think I hit something over here!

Found her bed empty

and the screen

on her window removed

Right now, neither of her parents

are considered suspects

by the authorities,

but there is some interest

being paid to a neighbor.

Thanks, Leslie.

Prepare for the heat wave to contin...

Ready to go, buddy?

One of us has gotta lose some weight.

And Paris Hilton.

I f***ing hate that b*tch.

And... And hairy moles

on people's faces.

You know, I just want

to grab that catfish whisker

and just rip it

right off of their chin.

Jesus Christ.

And rotator cuffs.

I hate them.

I tore mine three years ago,

and it still hurts.

And I hate...

I hate black people.

I hate the way that they talk in movies.

I mean, it's got to bug the sh*t

out of you, too, right?

Hey, what time do you guys

want to practice tonight?

I thought you guys were

DJing at Jones tonight.

Nah, it's tomorrow.

I got plans.

That old married guy tonight?

He's not that old.

But he is that married.

Man, from here, he just seems

like somebody's dad.

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