Angst Page #2

I thought:

where can you meet somebody?

So I went to the first

coffee shop that was open.

There were two attractive girls

sitting in there.

They were still pretty young.

But that would've worked.

I felt a bit awkward, dressed as I was.

But after 10 years of prison,

you can't be dressed modern.

They stared at me.

I was on it immediately.

They literally provoked me.

My imagination immediately began running wild.

I wondered how I could approach them.

That excited me enormously.

I immediately imagined the greatest things.

But it would've caused too much

attention in the coffee shop.

Everyone would have heard us.

That wasn't a good opportunity.

It was absolutely necessary

to find a quiet place...

and everything would've gone well.

Then a coincidence helped me.

- Where to?

Straight ahead, please.

The opportunity in the taxi was great.

It wouldn't be a robbery,

I wasn't interested in money.

This woman reminded me of

my first girlfriend, Anna-Marie.

A real whore.

I was 14 at the time, and she was

significantly older than me.

She nearly could've been my mother.

We sat on a bench in the park.

I had to remove a shoe.

She took the shoe away from me.

- What are you doing?

She only would return it to me...

if I gave her a kiss

- What are you doing there?

Anna-Marie then took me home with her.

She seduced me.

That's when I was able to get active

for the first time.

First I tied her up, then sealed

her mouth shut...

then I hit her.

With a belt and later with a real whip.

She couldn't get enough.

I really enjoyed it.

I became Anna-Marie's slave,

and it really excited me.

Hey! What are you doing!!

Nobody had followed me.

Where to and how long

I'd run, I don't know.

I didn't know that area.

I'd never been there.

The house seemed desolate to me.

I wasn't sure if somebody lived in there.

I noticed no one...

and didn't hear anything.

No human soul around.

I thought, that's a paradise for me.

The house was well protected

by the park and the trees.

I didn't have to be afraid

of neighbors here.

The location was perfect.

No danger of being spotted here.

I could hardly breathe.

I was incredibly excited.

The opportunity to meet someone in here...

nearly made me go mad.

I thought, I couldn't take it much longer.

I was sure someone lived in here.

My victim.

I was afraid.

Daddy?

Not of the law.

I was in a state of mind that excluded

every kind of logic.

I was afraid of myself.

Already earlier in my life,

I had great fear.

For example, as a child it was impossible

for me to be alone in a room.

My grandmother once locked me

alone in a dark room for a whole night.

I thought she was trying to kill me.

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