Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues Page #2
He is a child, Ron!
Nah, nah, nah!
He's got hair on his nugs.
He's old enough to hear this.
Your father is a wise man.
I will lock you in a closet!
Veronica, here's the bottom line.
It's a very simple decision.
It's either me or the job.
It doesn't have to
be a choice, Ron.
Don't do this.
Don't throw away everything that
we've worked so hard for.
Me...
...or the job.
SEAWORLD ANNOUNCER:
Hello, and welcome
to the 3:
10 DolphinShow at Sea World.
Sponsored by British Petroleum.
B.P. Oil, nature's best friend.
And now, here's your host,
Ron Burgundy.
Good afternoon, everyone.
And welcome to
world-famous Sea World,
here in San Diago, California.
Here's a fun fact, dolphins
aren't fish. They're mammals.
Here's another fun fact,
I haven't felt the loving embrace of
a human being in over three months.
(SOBBING)
I'm so lonely I paid a
hobo to spoon with me.
Let's bring out our
world-class trainers here,
Jesse and Paula.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Thank you. Thank you, Ron.
Sometimes I try to kiss 'em.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Oh, Ron Burgundy, everyone.
- I want to kiss you.
- No.
- Or I'll kiss your friend.
- No.
How about the two
trainers kiss each other?
What do you say, huh?
So, let's say hello to the stars
of the show, Chippy and Roo-roo!
RON:
For your information,Chippy was rehabilitated
and Roo-roo is an a**hole.
Ooh!
Look, they're swimming
and doing tricks!
Folks, what do you expect?
They're dolphins.
- (CLEARING THROAT)
- (DOLPHIN CLICKING)
What did you say?
Look at you, with
that permanent smile.
You think you're so smart,
with your secret language.
You just fan' out of the
top of your head.
- (IMITATES FARTING)
- (AUDIENCE BOOING)
- You're a punk, Ron Burgundy!
- Boo!
Children and animals hate you,
Ron Burgundy!
I would eat dolphins
if it was legal!
Unhand me, you buffoons! (GRUNTS)
All right, first, you threw
up in the shark tank.
Then you fed the seals
a chicken gyro?
And now this?
You're fired, you washed-up drunk!
Guess what, Trevor?
Every morning I get
here a half hour early
and I sexually assault a starfish!
(GRUNTS)
This is the end of the road.
I'm not turning back.
(BARKING)
Well, I know it's
not a pretty sight.
And you're gonna be
the sole witness.
If you can't handle it,
you leave the room.
(SIGHS) It's too late, Baxter
(BARKING)
I'm going the way of
the ancient samurai
who, when dishonored, would hang
themselves from a fluorescent light.
(BARKING)
Goodbye, my sweet hairy prince.
- Oh!
- (GLASS SHATTERING)
(GROANS)
Oh!
Sweet cream on nipples!
Uh, Mr. Burgundy? Hello, I...
Oh, my God!
What the hell happened?
Um... Urn...
I tried to hang myself?
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"Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/anchorman_2:_the_legend_continues_2820>.
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