Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues Page #4
If you're from the census,
you take me off your list!
You never did have much of
a bedside manner, Champ.
Ron? Ron Burgundy?
- Get over here!
- How are you, friend?
God, I have longed for you.
It's good to see you, too.
Oh, this feels like home.
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine. Better now.
Okay, let's break the
huddle here, huh?
- Okay. All right.
- All right.
You get back here!
Don't be weird!
CHAMP:
So, anyway,Harken sat me down, he said,
"Champ, you're a dangerous
alcoholic, a racist,
"and I don't think you
know a lick about sports."
And I said, "Ed, you dirty Polack,
it's 10:
00 in the morning."Let's go have some drinks
"and go to a baseball game where
the Mexicans hit some touchdowns."
Then he fires me!
Fortunately, on the way out the
door, I fake a work injury.
With the settlement,
I bought this place.
Well, I'm glad to see you
landed on your feet, Champ.
Listen, can I ask you a question?
Sure. Anything.
Is... Is this chicken?
Oh, hell, no.
It's really impossible to turn a
profit if you serve real chicken.
Yeah. We use mainly bats.
- What?
- Yeah.
But the good quality kind.
That's the most horrible
thing I've ever heard.
Yeah?
You got to do what you
got to do, right?
So what you got to do
Yep. Do you know
what they call bats?
- Bats.
- "Chicken of the Cave."
No one calls them
Chicken of the Cave.
Who's "they," by the way?
There's a guy I met named Paco,
sells bikers speed at the pier.
So that guy calls them
Chicken of the Cave.
Yeah.
That's not "they."
Why don't you have a bite
and stop judging it?
I'm not going to bite
into a fried bat.
It's delicious.
It's all tendon. Look at it.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Was that a bat?
Chicken of the Cave.
What brings you here, Ron?
My friend, we've got a job.
In New York City.
Whammy! I'm in!
You've got yourself a sportscaster.
Oh, great.
Denny!
Lock up!
Any idea where Brian Fantana is?
You haven't heard?
Fantana hit the big time.
Aw, baby.
Yeah, that's it, play for me.
Just play around.
Roll around and lift
those legs up. Mmm!
You are a hairy little
thing, aren't you?
- (BRIAN GROWLS)
- (CAMERA CLICKING)
Yeah. Oh, I like what's happening!
Oh, that's it. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, you little fuzzball,
that's... Oh!
- I got it.
- (ALL APPLAUDING)
It's not getting any
better than that.
- That's brilliant!
- Yeah, yeah.
Hey, Brian, you have any
time for the little people?
Well, I'll be a son of a b*tch.
(ALL LAUGHING)
- Hey, Brian.
- Champ! How you doing?
Hey!
- Wow. This is a...
- Cool it!
Oh, I can't believe...
Oh, wow. It's great to see you!
Welcome. Welcome to my doj'.
This place is spectacular!
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"Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/anchorman_2:_the_legend_continues_2820>.
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