Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Page #2
and I don't usually do this, but
I felt compelled to tell you something.
You have
an absolutely breathtaking heinie.
I mean, that thing is good.
I want to be friends with it.
Well, you certainly know
how to compliment a woman.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Do you know who I am?
No, I can't say that I do.
I don't know how to put this,
but I'm kind of a big deal.
Really?
People know me.
I'm very happy for you.
I'm very important.
I have many leather-bound books,
and my apartment
smells of rich mahogany.
I'm friends with Merlin Olsen, too.
He comes over on occasion.
That's stupid.
No, no, that's very exciting.
Listen, can I... Can I start over again?
Sure.
I wanna say something.
I'm gonna put it out there.
If you like it, you can take it.
If you don't, send it right back.
I wanna be on you.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I...
I wanna be on you.
Baxter! Papa's home.
There he is. There's my little man.
You're okay?
Of course I met a lady tonight.
This one was different.
I have to be honest.
Quite different.
What?
I'm lonely? I'm not lonely!
I'm beloved by everyone in San Diego.
Wow.
You know
how to cut to the core of me, Baxter.
You're so wise.
You're like a miniature Buddha
covered in hair.
Come again?
You know I don't speak Spanish.
In English, please.
You pooped in the refrigerator?
And you ate a whole wheel of cheese?
How'd you do that?
I'm not even mad. That's amazing.
I forgive you.
What do you say we get you in your PJs
and hit the hay?
Bedtime. Okay, come on. Let's go.
Come on.
Oh, that was one crazy party.
I am hung over.
Tell me about it.
I woke up this morning
and I sh*t a squirrel.
I mean it. Literally.
Hell of it is, damn thing's still alive.
So I got this sh*t-covered squirrel
down there in the office.
- Don't know what to name it.
- I'm sorry, Champ.
I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.
All right, guys. Let's focus up.
Morning, everyone.
Here are the stories
we're going to be chasing today.
It looks like Ling Wong,
the rare panda at the San Diego Zoo,
is pregnant.
This is a big one.
This could be
the big story of the summer.
Network is gonna be wanting
plenty of coverage.
And speaking of network,
word on the street is
they're looking for a new anchor.
- So, Ron...
- Network? Are they here?
A lot of you have been hearing
the affiliates complaining
about a lack of diversity
on the news team.
What in the hell's diversity?
Well, I could be wrong,
but I believe Diversity is an old,
old wooden ship
- that was used during the Civil War era.
- That's right.
I would be surprised
if the affiliates were concerned
about the lack of an old wooden ship,
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"Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/anchorman:_the_legend_of_ron_burgundy_2821>.
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