An Adventure in Space and Time Page #3

I invented it!

Well, have a look at it, Bill.

It certainly sounds different.

And it's an old man part, you know.

Is it?

Yeah! It's like This Sporting Life.

Well, I love playing older!

I know.

Well? What next?

He's going to set up a meeting. He

sounded ever so upbeat on the phone.

He says it's a smashing role.

For the BBC.

Yeah, yeah...

and it's for kiddies!

Come on, Stumpy!

Off to Madame Bovary.

Well, I'm sure he'll be

happier away from us.

- Any news from the design department?

- They're not being very helpful, I'm afraid.

What is this?!

What're we going to do with this?

Stone Age Man going, "Ug"!

It's crazy!

Cavemen and doctors and

disappearing bloody police boxes!

- What're we going to do?

- Waris Hussein. Our director.

- Verity.

- Hi.

What have you just been working on?

Er, Compact.

Oh. High art indeed.

Shut up.

Don't people say "Ug" in Compact?

Frequently.

Mostly after a liquid lunch.

The cavemen script is the only

one ready to go.

We have to start with it.

Right, and where are we shooting?

Lime Grove. Studio D.

Oh, God, not there!

We can't do anything there.

It's a broom cupboard.

It's smaller on the inside.

It's the wrong shape and the

sprinklers go off when it gets hot.

Well, you'll make it brilliantly,

won't you?

Oh. I see. Simple as that.

It'll never work.

When do we start?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Yes, sir? Gin and tonic...

Vodka and tonic

and a red wine, please.

Sorry, love, I'm serving...

Vodka and tonic

and a red wine, please.

Vodka tonic, red wine.

Thank you.

I'd have been stood here all night.

"We are all strangers

in a strange land. "

Very profound.

Isn't it? You'll find

I'm generally pretty profound.

- I wish I had your front.

- I wish I had your behind.

- Shh! Like a little peach.

- Shut up!

Don't be fooled, Waris.

That's all it is.

Front.

Inside, I'm shaking like a leaf.

I'm here by the skin

of my bloody teeth.

First Indian director

this place has ever had.

So, we've got to stick together,

haven't we?

Make our little show work.

That'll teach them.

Who? The old guard.

This - sea of fag smoke,

tweed and sweaty men.

Not that I'm knocking sweaty men.

I should hope not.

Listen, I overheard a couple of old

horrors standing by the tea urn.

They said, "Well, she didn't get

here standing up, did she?"

Sydney's bit of fluff, am I?

Well, that seems to be

the impression.

How else could you get

a promotion like this?

A promotion like what?

I'm trying to recreate

the Stone Age with Airfix glue

and bloody BacoFoil!

We're trying to.

Yes. Sorry.

Here's to us. The posh wog!

And the pushy Jewish bird!

- L'chaim!

- Cheers.

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