American Wedding Page #3

Come on, Stifler.

This isn't

a graduation party.

It's time to go.

Wait, hold on!

Jim's getting married,

isn't he?

Holy f***ing sh*t!

This is major!

Do you have the slightest idea

how important this is?

We get to have

a bachelor party. Yes!

We celebrate the death of Jim

with a party in his honor.

Chicks and b*obs.

Tits and ass.

Titties, ta-tas,

casabas, bazoongas,

all up in our frigging faces!

Come on, buck up, fellows!

Show some enthusiasm!

It's gonna be f***ing great!

Oh, my God!

Finch,

he does make a good point.

Yeah, he does.

You never heard me say that.

I do not deserve

a girl this cool.

Michelle said the wedding

was doable, right?

A wedding. A wedding, yeah.

I promised her her wedding.

You know, the wedding

of her dreams.

Okay, what's the problem?

Dancing.

She's gonna want to dance.

There's that whole tradition.

The first dance

at the reception.

She is gonna wanna dance

Fred Astaire kind of sh*t.

I can't do that.

She learned all

that from band camp.

Okay, so you take lessons,

you know. Right away.

Lessons. Okay.

I have to convince

her parents that

I'm not a shithead.

Yeah, challenging.

Indeed challenging.

But doable. What else?

What else?

I don't know what else.

That's the thing.

She cares

too much to tell me.

She doesn't want me to worry

that she might be worried.

So I'm worried.

Recon.

You mean, like,

spying on Michelle?

Spying is deceitful.

Extra attention

means you're concerned.

This is true.

This is good.

Guys,

here's to the next step.

Shut up with that stepping.

Put your glass down.

(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

We'll find a wonderful one

somewhere, I promise.

We'll keep looking.

Is everything okay here?

The study can get a little

chilly sometimes.

You have enough blankets?

We're fine. Thank you.

I was kind of hoping

that someday soon,

we could have a little talk.

I'd really like to tell you

why I think I'll make

a good husband,

whenever you get a chance.

Oh! Why is that?

Come on.

(DOG BARKS)

See, I was saying

that soon we could talk.

(STUTTERING)

This right now is sort

of the preliminary talk

before the future

longer talk,

which would be like a quiet,

a private dinner talk.

(YIPPING)

Let him finish.

(DOG PANTING)

(DOG YIPPING)

I'm talking to you.

(MRS. FLAHERTY SHUSHING)

Okay.

Good talking to you.

No. These aren't gonna work.

Wow!

You guys in

a sporting goods store.

Very good.

Hey, Finch,

I think they got your size.

Oh, beautiful.

Jim needs to learn to

dance for his wedding.

You know,

I think he's screwed.

Of course he's screwed.

He's getting married.

I can't wait to

see this disaster.

What makes you think

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