American Pie Presents: Beta House Page #2
I've had a subscription for, like, a year.
That'll be good.
That's not a cologne ad.
I've used that exact issue
more times than I can count.
(COOZE EXCLAlMS DlSGUSTEDLY)
(SNlFFlNG)
You smell pretty.
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
-Sorry.
-That was so uncalled for.
-Wow.
-ls this Erik Stifler's room?
Yeah.
Welcome to college, boys.
Yeah. No, I wouldn't lie to you.
I'm dead serious.
Most sororities won't even give you a bid
unless you've had a threesome.
It shows that you work well
within the group dynamic,
and that you're really prepared
for sisterhood.
You know what I'm saying?
-Really?
-Yeah.
Oh, man. Who is this guy?
Dude, he's the reason we came
to college here.
-You like that?
-That was awesome.
You have to give a little bit back
every now and then.
-Hey, hey, shower buddy!
-Oh, hey. Hi.
Shower buddy?
Yeah, Erik and I met
when I was showering this afternoon.
-Really?
-Yeah.
Oh, right, the coed bathrooms. Yeah.
to get the board of trustees
to approve that one. Worth it.
Oh, Ashley, hi. This...
Everyone, this is Ashley.
Ashley, this is everyone.
ASHLEY:
Hi, everybody.This is my roommate, Denise.
She just came here from Georgia.
Hey, y'all.
Well, I do declare, a real life Scarlett O'Hara.
(GlGGLlNG) Oh, my.
Well, hey, you guys aren't taking off,
are you?
Yeah, we're going to this cocktail mixer
at the Epsilon Sigma Kappa House.
Oh, no, no, no. The Geek House?
No, trust me.
-I wanna stay but...
-ASHLEY:
But we promised, so...Plus, Ashley thinks this party
is a little bit dclass.
What? Like sleazy?
Hey, baby. How you doing, sweetheart?
Grab a beer.
No, you got the wrong idea
about this whole thing.
Look, this is just a little meet and greet
that I set up to, sort of,
you know, demonstrate our school spirit
and our, you know,
dedication to this university.
Beta House f***ing rules!
(EXCLAlMlNG)
(COOZE LAUGHS)
(EXCLAlMS)
Real classy.
-Erik, it was really nice to see you again.
-Yeah.
-Guys, till next time.
-Yeah, see you.
GlRLS:
Bye, guys.COOZE:
Bye.-It's nice to meet you.
-See you.
Hey, Stifler,
what's up with this Geek House?
Yeah, I never even heard of it.
I know a Geek house sounds harmless,
but they are a nightmare.
DWIGHT:
They were a social club for decades,
till a group of rich geeks came in
built the house, got a new charter.
COOZE:
Wait, a geek fraternity?DWIGHT:
To get in,you need, like, perfect SAT scores.
Transfer $2 million to my Swiss account.
DWIGHT:
Then they check your family treeand calculate future earnings potential.
No, I said buy at 60, not sell at 60.
You're f***ing fired!
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"American Pie Presents: Beta House" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/american_pie_presents:_beta_house_2706>.
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