American Pie 2 Page #3
we'll just do this, okay?
- Friends.
- Friends.
- Ozzy, my man!
- There he is.
Shake off your chains of monogamy?
You're a free man.
I don't think so, Stifler.
I'll never turn over to the dark side.
Dumb ass. What happened to
the Nova I knew in high school?
Nova, as in Casanova,
the guy who had all the moves.
- He was an idiot.
- Yeah, but he was my idiot.
Hey, everyone, listen up!
Nova's back, baby...
and he's taken the lock
off his cock!
Ozzy, I'm lobbing you a softball.
Pull out your bat
and take a swing.
Mandy.
This is my friend, Oz.
All-state lacrosse two years in a row.
- Hi, Oz.
- Mandy, how are you?
Listen. I have a girlfriend.
It was a pleasure meeting you.
Beer out back?
You p*ssy!
Stifler's mom's room.
How did you do
that magic you did?
Tantra.
What the f***
are you doin' in here?
-Just relax.
- You get out of my house!
-Jesus Christ!
- Come back here, you little f***er!
Come back here,
you son of a b*tch!
Easy! That's enough.
Okay, guys, we went through this
last summer, all right?
Finch got a black eye
and Stifler got six stitches.
'Cause he f***in' bit me!
You touch me, I bite.
- You two relax and shake hands.
- Shake this.
I need a drink.
Why is everybody
taking a piss right now?
-Line's too long. I ain't gonna make it.
-You'll be okay. Relax.
Hey, bro. Hey, man, you're
the guy who boned Stifler's mom.
- Hey, you are a god.
- Holy sh*t, dude.
If I didn't have to hold my dick 'cause
I gotta piss, I would shake your hand.
- I'm honoured, guys.
- Don't leave.
You must teach me.
How?
How?
Look what I found, Christy.
What a coincidence.
I've been saving this
for a special occasion...
for a special girl,
just like you.
- You're so sweet.
- That's what they say.
Weird.
- Oh, my God.
- I spilled some on you.
- Thanks.
No problem.
Whoa! Whoa, hey.
- Take it slow. Come on.
- Right.
You know, they warn us
about these situations in college.
Now, you may be intoxicated.
Oh, yeah.
Are you certain that you wish
to engage in consenting--
Hey, don't count
your chickens, buster.
- I'm just playing by the rules, baby.
- I make the rules.
That's a pretty good f***ing rule.
Dude, the line's too long.
I'll never make it.
Get my back.
- Clamp it off.
- Hello.
- How are you?
- Awesome.
- How are you?
- I'm really good.
How 'bout I give you
a little champagne?
Go downstairs and get us some beers?
I've got a surprise for you.
Close your eyes and get ready.
I'm ready.
- You want a beer?
- Yeah, all right.
Okay, go.
This is kind of kinky,
and I like that.
That's it.
Bathe the Stifmeister.
Oh, that's great!
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"American Pie 2" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/american_pie_2_2703>.
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