American Ninja

Hey, I'm great at that game.

Back home in California, I'm, like, deadly.

Hold on, I'll teach you girls how to play.

Hey, babe, come on. We need

an extra guy to even out the sides.

Hey, come on.

All right, now, let me show you how

to do this. Now just watch closely.

Huh? Huh?

(applause)

Uh, get the bag, please?

(soldier) How 'bout some help?

- What's his problem?

- I don't know. He just got here yesterday.

Excuse me! Throw me the bag,

then you can go back to sleep, OK?

B*tch.

We like a little teamwork around here, pal.

You know, loners don't go

too far in this outfit.

- Private!

- The colonel. Sh*t!

I'll have the house ready for you

in three weeks, Dad, OK? I love you.

Take care.

Bye.

- Hello, Charley.

- Hi, ma'am.

- How are you?

- Just fine.

Stay with the convoy till you get to town.

- You've lots of time to get to the airport.

- Of course, sir.

Sergeant, you know how

important she is to me.

Yes, sir. She'll be safe with me, sir.

- Are you ready for the trip?

- Yep. Thank you.

(whistles)

All right, move it out.

- What's goin' on here?

- Just pull over to the side.

It'll take a second.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Freeze.

All right, take it easy.

All we need are the trucks. Tell your men

to surrender. No one will get hurt.

Take it easy. Take it easy.

Let's go!

Move, move. Get out!

Nobody shoot. Nobody shoot.

Hold your fire.

Let 'em take what they want.

There's nothing here worth dyin' for.

Charley, come on. Let's go. Come on,

What are you waiting for? Step on it.

- Hurry up.

- Out!

Don't resist. Don't resist.

Who do you think you are?

You have no business hitting him!

Shut up! Get in the car.

No, let her go! Don't shoot!

Agh!

Come on! Let's take 'em!

Sh*t!

(rumble)

Move it!

Go! Get going!

(horn)

Holy sh*t!

Go after him! He's getting away!

Agh!

- Hey, where are you going?

- Get away from me!

Hey!

What do you think you're doing to me?

(woman screams)

Stop it!

(screams)

He!

Kill him!

- (Japanese command)

- No!

No more. Enough. We give up!

- Who is he?

- I don't know. He's a new recruit.

I don't even know his name.

He possess great skills.

I can take care of myself. Let go of me.

(whispers) Who are they?

What do you think I am,

a jungle baby or something?

Would you...? I can't go as fast as you.

Don't you touch my shoes.

I hope you're going to Italy

to get me a pair of designer shoes.

I can't believe you just did that.

You are crazy, do you know that?

These are my favourite shoes.

What are you gonna do with that?

What?

You, my dear, are going to town

to buy me new shoes and a new skirt.

Don't you touch my skirt. What are you...?

No! No way. I am not going in that water.

I don't care who's chasing us.

There are leeches. I'm not going in there.

Do!

Get away from me, you creep!

You trying to kill me or something?

Leave me alone, all right?

I swear.

Would you look at me? Look at my shirt.

Look at my hair. It's a mess.

Do you have a comb, by any chance?

Comb. Course not. Stupid question.

- Shoes...

- Are you OK?

- My clothes are just a bit wet, thank you.

- Well, we can hang 'em out to dry.

Are you serious?

They should be dry pretty soon.

If my father saw us out here like this,

he would absolutely kill you.

Do you realise that?

Oops. But, uh... I kinda like it.

- Feels kinda natural, don't you think?

- It's gonna start getting dark.

You know, I don't even

know your name.

Joe.

That's it?

- Yeah, just call me Joe.

- Joe.

- OK, Joe.

- Look, uh...

Colonel's gonna be worried. We'd

better get dressed and get outta here.

I want every inch of that

jungle covered before dark.

- Get every man out in the field now.

- Yes, sir.

Third time we've been hit. Call the chief of

police and tell him to get his ass in gear.

Sir!

And your ass is in a sling, mister,

if anything's happened to Patricia.

- We tried our best, sir.

- Obviously it wasn't good enough.

- No, sir.

- What happened out there?

We've never had any casualties

in these instances before.

We wouldn't have had any

if that new man hadn't been along.

Your daughter'd be here right now, safe, if

he hadn't started acting like John Wayne.

That son of a b*tch is gonna be sorry

he ever joined this goddamn army.

- Jackson!

- Yes, sir.

- Did you check the wounds?

- Yes, sir. I did.

- What the hell did you find out?

- Have you ever heard of ninjutsu, sir?

- The secret art of assassination.

- Yeah, I have.

Well, according to

witnesses' testimony...

...this massacre was the work of ninjas.

Ninjas?

You have served me well, my friend.

Until today, your record was spotless.

But the truck with the most

valuable cargo got away.

Another incident like this, I might

have to shut down the entire operation.

(speaks Japanese)

An American ninja? What do you mean?

There is no such thing.

I do not lie. I know it is death to

teach the secrets to the westerner...

...but I also know there was

an American ninja there.

The buyers arrive tomorrow.

It's a multimillion-dollar deal.

Nothing must be left to chance.

This American, whatever

he is, get rid of him.

I guess it's goodbye.

Guess so.

Well, bye.

Goodbye.

Look at me.

Don't I look absolutely ridiculous?

- No, you look good.

- Thank you.

Well, goodbye.

Joe!

Thanks. Thanks for everything.

I suppose you think you're a hero cos

you brought my daughter back alive.

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